My real name is not Navam, however I have considered changing it one day, every time I use the name Navam it reminds me of who I am today. It also reminds me of who I was before.

I was a product of date rape, had a little brother who I watched drown at the age of five, had abusive parents ( mom verbally stepfather physical), married an abuser,( more than once), and had two of my children pass away.

Wow sounds bad, but not really, you see I decided sometimes life does bad things to good people, and sometimes choices I make cause bad things to happen. It was my choice to survive, it was also my choice to make changes in my life, and it was also my choice to take the lessons of bad things happening and turn them into positive things!

1st positive: Raise my children with honesty and love. Also educate my daughters (and sons) how date rape can happen and that protection needs to be used at all times. AND SONS NO MEANS NO!

2nd positive: Made sure my children had swimming lessons, defensive lessons, and made sure I kept an eye on them at all times, now did this work to protect them always no, but I knew I did the best I could to protect them and they knew they could always come and talk to me.

3rd positive: Never beat my kids and always talked to them as people (because that is what they are)Did this mean let them get away with things, no way this means to choose battles and  teach them that all behavior has consequences good and bad. Let them know yes I am their mom and I love them but being their mom is my full time job! ( and I am sorry but you can't fire me!)

4th positive: Left my abuser! Got help and never looked back, started choosing people I did not want to change or feel sorry for. Started choosing healthy friends ( guess what they are out there) but most importantly started loving me first, I love myself enough that I decided I did n't deserve to ever be hit or verbally abused again.

5th positive:Life is short, value every waking moment! I cannot take anything with me when I die but I sure can leave a lot behind! The most important thing I can leave behind is the positive changes that I have made in other peoples life!

Navam means Not A Victim Any More! Feel free to use that name anywhere you want, but protect it like it was Gold because you are that valuable!

NAVAM

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Comments:

kjrn79
Oct. 31, 2010 at 11:07 AM

God Bless You and yours!

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ta2di...
Oct. 31, 2010 at 3:58 PM

Great words.

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misty...
Oct. 31, 2010 at 9:03 PM

Wonderful ...........thank you for sharing your story with us!  I hope that things continue to get only better for you!

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Vinta...
Oct. 31, 2010 at 9:23 PM

What a beautiful journal. Thank you for sharing with us!

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sfabu...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 9:40 AM

Beautiful post! Its not where you from its where you going.

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Madly...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 10:13 AM

Well said, sister.  It is a wonderful thing to go from "victim" to "victor".  I applaud you.

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phoen...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 1:09 PM

Thank you so much for sharing.  Your wisdom, strength and optimism are an inspiration.

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