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Question: Do you drink to relax?




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I thought this was an interesting article. I don't think it's specific to "Working" Mom's though. I do understand they are talking about drinking excessively. But, I was wondering...(WM, SAHM or something else):

Do you drink to relax?

Copied article from ParentDish:

Is it "wine-o'clock" yet?" is a cry heard among many moms after a rough day with the kids, the boss and, in many cases, both.

But a new study says a startling number of working mothers are shifting from imbibing in an occasional glass of Cabernet to downing drinks and popping borrowed Xanax to take the pressures off work and family life -- and they are hiding these addictions.

This drinking in the dark phenomenon is on the rise, according to a series of reports from
Working Mother magazine, which found that 5.3 million women in the United States drink in a way that threatens their safety and that the number of women ages 30 to 40 who abuse alcohol has doubled over the past decade. What's more, one in four children has an addictive parent, according to the research.

"What was most startling is that these are women who appear to be in total control, they hold good jobs, their kids are doing well in school and they're not hanging out in bars at 2 a.m.,"
Suzann Riss, Working Mother's editor-in-chief tells ParentDish. "But they are dying inside and are in serious trouble. Their kids depend on them and addictions are progressive."

The survey also showed that 40 percent of the respondents drink to cope with stress and 57 percent of working moms reported they have misused prescription drugs. And both of these figures look set to rise, Riss says.

"Our biggest shock was that these women are successful at hiding their addictions," she tells ParentDish. "One woman we profiled hid hers for 20 years. But they have these secret lives where they are addicts. It's a subject no one talks about and most of them thought they were all alone."

The problem is more widespread than we think, Riss says. The magazine's series, "Everybody Knows Somebody," says fueling this rising health threat is the recession and the fact that more moms are the family breadwinners now than ever before.

"Another ripple effect of the bad economy is that working moms and wives have unprecedented stress on them," Riss, mom to 5-year-old Jack, says. "They don't know how to handle that stress. We're not saying that a glass of wine a night means you're in trouble, but we are talking about women who are dependent on alcohol or drugs and cannot make it through the day without them."

The impetus for the Working Mother series was the Diane Schuler story, Riss tells ParentDish. Schuler was the 36-year-old Long Island mother who, in July of 2009, drove down the highway the wrong way after 10 drinks and smoking marijuana. The accident took her life and the lives of her 2-year-old daughter and three nieces who were riding in her van, as well as three men who were in the SUV she hit. Her 5-year-old son was the sole survivor.

"When that story broke, we started to hear more and more rumblings about this as a real problem for working moms," Riss says. "We wanted to look more into these secret addictions and the secret lives of women who work right next to most of us in the workplace."

At the same time, a growing number of working moms who collectively experience "one of those days," have found a way to vent with a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek Facebook group called "OMG I so need a glass of wine or I'm gonna sell my kids."

With 110,000 members strong, working mom of two and founder Christine Trice of Sacramento, Calif., says the group was born out of "one of those mommy moments," and is meant to be a place where stressed-out moms can feel they are not alone and find solace in the fact "that we can laugh at ourselves and joke that we're having a bad day and need a glass of wine," Trice tells ParentDish.

"It's kind of a sisterhood of moms who can laugh at themselves and admit for a moment that it isn't easy to be a mom or a working mom," says Trice, who runs two businesses, Brown Bag Botanicals and The Belly Beautiful.

Trice tells ParentDish the group is "not meant to promote drinking, but to be the safe place where moms can admit it is stressful."

"My father was an alcoholic and I know all about the severed relationships and damage that can be done in a family from drinking," she says. "But I also know what happens when you stuff down that stress and feel like you are all alone and are a bad mom because you had a challenging day. That's why we're here to help moms know it's OK to say 'I'm having a horrible day.' "

So, what are the warning signs for when a glass of wine to take the edge off stress has turned into a full-on addiction? Women who drink eight or more drinks a week or four or more drinks a night are at a risk for addiction, Riss says.

You can take a Quiz HERE:

Working Mother has created a quiz to help working moms assess their drinking habits, or give clues to suspicions about co-workers and friend's you are concerned about.

"The bottom line, though, is that if you are worried that you have a problem, you probably do," Riss says.

The problem is compounded because women are more likely to hide addictions than men, Heidi Jacobsen, a licensed mental health counselor who works with prescription drug-addicted women at WestCare, an outpatient substance abuse treatment center in St. Petersburg, Fla., tells Working Mother.

"They're also less likely to seek treatment than men because they worry about the people who depend on them," she tells the magazine. "They can't lose their job, their home and their children."

The secrecy shrouding this growing health risk was one of the biggest challenges in creating the series of reports, Riss tells ParentDish.

"When we started doing this story, we could not get women to give their real names and we didn't want to do it that way," she says. "We are proud that we found courageous women to come out and start talking about this. Our hope is that women who are suffering silently will know they are not alone and that there is hope for recovery. They can get help and they can get better."

Another interesting article from The Stir:

Add A Comment


Nov. 1, 2010 at 4:55 AM

Great Article Sis~

I agree women of today have a lot of stress put on them, not only to be the " good " mother, but to also be able to work in the " real " world among all sorts of well...Wacko jobs...

At 51 years of age I can honestly say I am not and never have been a drinker....The thought of ever being a drinker has never crossed my mind....

I don't need a drink or drinks or drugs ( unless doctor prescribed ) for any form of stress, and you as well as a select few know I have my fair share of stress, but to turn to alcohol or drugs to deal with that stress in MY EYES, is a NO NO...Why??? Because then you have a whole lot of other " issues " that when you wake up from the addiction rather it be drinking or drugs, that issue is still there!!

Now if someone writes an article about being addicted to coffee ( which is MY drug  of choice )...Then and only then , will I have to stand up and say...

Hi my name is _______ and I am addicted to caffeine!!!

Thanks so much for putting this out there, I do hope that it helps someone ( and I am sure there are many who are hiding it ) that they go seek the help they need before it goes to far, and gets way out of hand...

Best of luck to those who are silently suffering...

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 6:38 AM

Great article, thanks for sharing!

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 8:13 AM

 I don't  like the taste of alcohol, I will have maybe 1 mixed drink every 3 or 4 years at most.  I also don't do any illegal drugs and rarely do persciption pain killers.

I like being in controll of my mind, body, and actions myself..drugs and alcohol do not alllow you to do that in most cases.

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 8:39 AM

Thank you for posting this.I posted the article on my Facebook page.Even if it only helps one mother realize they have a problem,then it is worth it.

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 8:41 AM

You need a third option: I wish I could. I don't drink. I sometimes wish I could. I don't drink because a) I'm pregnant b) it gives me heartburn, and c) I don't want to turn into an alcoholic. But there are times I wish I drank, that I could just numb myself somehow and get some peace and rest. That I wish I could call up some friends and have a girls night out (I'm the only person in my group who doesn't drink, so going out when you're drunk sitting is no fun)

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 10:48 AM

No one realizes how much pressure is put on a mother who works.  They are required to work AND DO ALL THE OTHER THINGS A SAHM DOES.  I understand completely why people would think drinking and doing xanax are good ways to deal.  They aren't.  Women who continuously think they MUST be perfect and women who think their SO doens't have to help, have a god complex in my eyes.  I am a working mom, with 3 children and one on the way.  I refuse to allow my husband to work then sit on his butt.  If I work my booty off, he does too, or I will quit my job and we'll be broke.  As long as women let men get away with being lazy and making us do it all and as long as women stop biting off more than we can chew just so people won't look down on us, we will have these problems.  Women need to learn how to ask for help.  It's ok to have a crappy day once in a while- shoot I have them a lot- it's how you handle it.  I am addicted to my quiet time.  :)  My husband prefers fishing.  We lean on our family in those tough times... thankfully, we learned young it is ok NOT to be perfect.

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 11:33 AM

FinaOrlando, I think you are so right. Working moms are not only expected to kick butt and be productive and move ahead in work, but also to keep the household running and take care of the childrens' needs. I think that so many women today are on antidepressants or becoming addicted to substances because they are simply expected to do too much! Even a mom who stays at home usually has someone (or a lot of people) pushing her to go back to work, crticizing her for not being a Supermom who works 40 hours a week AND has a spotless house AND does a million activities with the kids AND has romantic dates with her husband AND...well, it's neverending. Men are expected to go to work, then come home and relax. Not so for us. And it's a big problem that most people are ignoring.

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 12:08 PM

I don't even try to be who people want me to be. I am way too far out of the norm for that.

Sure, I've had one drink after a hard day (I might have had 2 a couple times). Mild to moderate drinking (ie 1/2 to 1 drinks most days) is good for you (well, for me who have cholesterol balance issues that alcohol helps- not for people with depression and not so good for cancer risk). One trick I find empowering is, on a really bad day when everybody is telling me to have a glass of wine and relax, I find another way to calm down.

That way, I know I never NEED a drink, but I can enjoy one (I'm particularly fond of dry wines and beers) and get the health benefits without the worries.

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 12:43 PM

Interesting.It can slip up on someone.I have a long term friend that was a few pounds over weight and presto she lost the weight.When a couple of asked for the secret she told us for years she would have one glass of wine with dinner.Then one day she poured it while fixing dinner and still another with dinner.Slowly she began finishing the first glass ,poured another finished that one during dinner and poured one more.At the liquor store she was deciding to up how many bottles she bought so she wouldn't run out if she wanted more when it hit her like a ton of bricks.She was buying four times the wine as the year before.She cut back to the one with dinner and poof lost 18 lbs in about 5 weeks(not the point but a happy side effect).This was 4 years ago and she has kept her one with dinner rule.I am someone that enjoys a glass of wine with dinner most evenings and haven't had the urge to increase but now with my friends story in my head I doubt I ever will.It can be sly the increase,

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 3:01 PM

Thanks for sharing this article.

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