There i was driving my daughter home from work, She was talking like she does so well and i was paying attention to the road and half way listening like i always do.  Then I heard the most terrible thing any mother could ever hear coming from there baby's mouth, Mom I'm pregnant, I almost wreaked the van and all i could say was you don't tell someone that's driving something like that. I went through all the all the emotions and felt in some way it was all my fault. How could I let this happen. I came home. tried to fight back the tears and called my own mother. I asked her to come over she was to busy and could not. So alone I dealt with this shocking news.  Well she is now 5 months and having a girl, I am not happy she acts like this is a normal pregnancy like shes 25 and grown, Asking me about baby showers and picking out invites and i just want to die... She has no clue how i feel. I try to be strong for her.  I did everything a parent does I put her on birth control, where i messed up is i wanted her to get the shot, She wanted the patch due to less weight gain , I trusted her,,, Come to find out she stopped wearing it. I did not let boyfriends in her room. when they left they were with other people. When she went to his house his parents picked them up and stayed with them. Its no ones fault, Yet i feel like a horrible parent, I wander how to get through this. She is so mean, She yells at all of us for anything. i so want to ground her and remind her I am the parent you are the child.. Yet now i don't know what to do. She is pregnant and grouchy, I try to remember that. And shes going to be a mother soon. I just feel so lost.. Then she posts it on her FB and my mother calls yelling at me cause i should've told her. All i could say to her was i TRIED, you were just to busy....

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 12:27 PM

As the mother of a grown daughter I both can and cannot imagine how it feels to be you right now.I'm sure this is NOT what you dreamed for your precious baby girl just those few short years ago.You are grieving the loss of all that you hoped could be.Unfortunately,as is the case for many issues of parenthood,now is not the time to dwell on what isn't as in a very short time there's gonna be a new life to deal with,and despite her obnoxiousness,I imagine your daughter is scared to death.I was scared to death as a married pregnant woman so I can only imagine the fears she's dealing with.There are decisions to be made,things to be done...too late for grounding now,mama.

I wish you all the best.I am not a grandma yet,but I can't wait to be (my daughter is older and married and has been trying for 4 years now with no luck yet).I'm willing to bet in a years' time you won't be able to remember what life was like before the baby came along.HOWEVER,while she is still on the delivery table I'd have the shot administered,even if they have to tie her down lol.If you want to talk or vent I'm a good listener.You strike me as strong and you'll get through this.

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Nov. 1, 2010 at 2:09 PM

You know im here for you and i can't imagine how you feel but all i can tell you is things will work out..they always do and thow this isn't what we all had pictured for her this is where we are now and we have to just deal with whats to come and try to remember she is scared and she may think she is grown but far from it yet.(and still needs you)...and you were right to tell your mom you tried to tell her she just was too busy to hear you and that's her fault not yours so please don't blame yourself for her mistakes...i think every mother blames her self for these things when there daughters end up prego..its not your did all the right truly did and your daughter was very trustworthy so you had no reason to believe she would stop with the patches..these things just happen and im sure my mother blame herself when i got prego at a early age but it was my fault and i knew what i was doing and so did your daughter..i hope you feel better and stop thining it's all your to u soon!!!

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