The weekend of my 1st grandaughter's arrival  , I figured if i could be there to help my son's girlfriend just for support an dknowing someone was there unlike her own mom would make a difference in the time i could spend with them later , I was wrong it didn't matter my grandaughter is now 2mths old and i have only seen her a few times ,but what hurts more is that my sister 's have had more time with her than me , they my son and his girlfriend call them to babysit her and them to go places with them i haven't even been called for that instead , i feel like i am not as important or that she will nevr know me the way she does my sisters ,and just knowing that breaks my heart i try , but apparently i haven't even been considered, i'm not working or anything so ifiguredd i would at least be considered but no pe, ,since i don't give my son and his girlfriend money  or buy the baby anything i don't  count , i'm tired of arguing with him about this it gets me a li more further apart from them what to do , i don't know anymore . i just pray for them andhope they will one day see the light ,but  i know my kid and it won't happenwhy am i still here on earh i wonder all my life i have tried my best to do my best  for so many but i've come to a conclusion that No matter what  ido or say i'll never make any mountains move or anything for that matter ..The holidays r coming up andi'm just getting depressed more and more as the days go by .I'm so depressed on how it has all turned out so far ,al of my 42yrs i haven't seen anything come my way yet ...

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momme...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 6:36 PM

Sometimes it's better to be ditched early on. I fell in LOVE with my great niece, had her almost every weekend for six years. I was her favorite Aunt Nana!  Then my niece and sister got mad about...something, still not sure what and they dumped me for two years. Now we rarely talk, and it was like ripping my heart out to never see that sweet little girl again. they even told her to call me names, and god only knows what else. I don't mind losing them but I do mind losing the little one.

My step granddaughter is about the same story, fell in love, the kids broke up and we never see her now...

I really feel like it's easier to not get attached.  My son is expecting but he never calls me, so I don't expect to see that baby much either.  It's HARD, I know.

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Chica...
Nov. 1, 2010 at 10:43 PM

Maybe you should just show up at their house and tell them you want to spend time with your great niece.  Be creative in how you tell them of course and I am pretty sure they will be okay with it.  :)  Sometimes people get busy and for whatever reason life kind of just passes by and when you are younger you just don't realize the importance of relationships so it takes the wiser person to step up.  Good luck, you seem like a really sweet lady and it would be unfortunate for your great niece to miss out on spending time with you.

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shell81
Nov. 2, 2010 at 2:53 AM

I agree I would just show up over there. Talk to your son and see what is going on, better yet she is mom so talk to both of them. Let them know how you feel and you all work it out. You can't keep this in or nothing will change. Work it out. Good luck!

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NAVAM
Nov. 2, 2010 at 8:23 AM

I had to go to the head Dr. over this kind of stuff and was told I have raised my kids and done the best I could for them and now I have a life! What life I said My Kids Are my Life! Wrong! They have their own life so I started making my own life, cooking for homeless kids, making sure they have gifts at Christmas things like that. Boy did that ever change me and most important change my kids, once they realized my world didn't revolve around them they came a running. Sure I love my kids, and pray for them daily but no more am I the door mat! Hope this helps

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forde...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 11:23 AM

you sound so hurt! i am sending you hugs! i like the idea of getting involved with other activities of your own.. feeding homeless kids, etc i KNOW it won't be the same but i'm sure somewhere in your big heart it will fill a whole and help you feel as though you have purpose. kids rarely acknowledge the huge heartfelt place parents fill, but they do see what "strangers" or those outside of family do for them. 

don't let your kid define who  you are, which i'm sure is hard as i'm a young mom and my purpose is solely  raising him right now, but if they define you, when they find something to define them, you will be left with a huge whole in your heart.. 

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