I am working on like 2hrs of sleep so if this doesn't sound quite right or is worded wrong you know why. Haven't journaled here in a while so I'm due I guess.  Yesterday at 2:39 My phone rang of course Eva lost the handset so I had to wait for the machine to pick up tto see who it was, The lady on the machine says" This is so and so I have your sister Melissa who was in a bad car accident and is being rushed to the hospital, you need to get your mom and dad to the hospital asap. since I couldn't see the number 3 things enter my mind, 1. I have 2 sisters and a best friend none of my sisters are Melissa but my best friend is so I call my sister from my dad who should be at the hospital working as a CNA no answer I call my other sister who wouldve been the one on the road at the time because she was headed to college classes an hr away no answer call my mom who calls texts send out smoke signals etc. trying to find her. Finally she texts back I'm  fine whats going on.  I call my best friends work have them affirm for me it wasn't her because she is in doing an xray right then.Finally I find my phone see the number and relize they called from my sisters phone and start hysterically crying I knew at that point these two things 1. my sister knows her name 2. my sister knows her mom is not my mom and would have in fact corrected an EMT on that fact as well as the name mishap so either she is daed or unconcious. I found her at the hospital and after they checked her out she was sent home w/ a sprained knee and internal bruising which is amazing for flipping her car like she did, but The first thing through my head though was the worst, you see November 9 2003 8 am I got one of those very same calls, The lady said Hello Mr. and Mrs _______ This is ________ with the florida department of transportation there has been a very serious accident involving your nephew we are here with your mother right now and we need you to come right away ( DH tore out of the house at this instant) I will never forget her last line " Nathaniel is Dead"  I hear that ring in my head all the time I don't recall a lot after that I know I was all alone and I lost it I dropped to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably I called my mom because I just did not know what to do despite the fact we do not have agood relationship she came and held me and cryed with me for my baby boy. the next few days were a blur really I remember though the day of his funeral he was w/ me in the kitchen that morning I just felt him there. I was cooking some food for guests after the service and walked across the kitchen to my ironing board to iron DHs shirt so he could carry our baby boy to his final resting place and I hear a loud pop and see sparks shoot from my stove so I set the iron down and run to the stove, the burner exploded, I then smell the shirt that I set the iron down on burning because I just threw the iron heat side down, so I ran back get that up turn off that burner move the pot to a different burner and then go to finish the shirt not 5 mins later the other burner I moved the pot to does the exact same thing, I knew Nate was standing there saying aunt shelly I love you now smile. My boy was with me for 7 wonderful years well he lived with me for 7 yrs he was with us on earth for 16 yrs. he lost his life because his friend was driving under the influence of prescription drugs. A day will not go by that I don't think of him and his big beautiful smile and his baby blue eyes, after 7 years w/o him he has now been gone. Things like this still trigger that flood of emotions.

here is a link to the story on my sisters accident.


while there I found the link to Nates crash shouldn't have looked for it cause now I feel worse but I did so I'll share.


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Nov. 5, 2010 at 9:16 PM

((HUGS)) I'm glad your sister is okay, but I'm sorry you've been through so much.

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