enough of smile through all the crap! I love their dad, but will I ever be in love with him? After 10 years, I am thinking...ah...no. We don't fight, but we have nothing in common. I got pregnant the first time we slept together using a condom (I wouldn't recommend Durex), and when I said I wanted an abortion, he said have the baby then you can leave.

Well, after realizing that his habits and drinking weren't going to be a good thing, here I still am. I say I love you, but I think...I am not in love with you. I tried to talk to him about this when my father passed in April. Sometimes we get what we need from other people and my dad loved me the way that I needed. I was going to sign a lease in June and just leave and of course, he said he would change his ways. I said that I am not here to change you, but what kind of dad are you? What do you do with these kids? What kind of role model are you? Is this how you want your boys to be when they grow up? Can't you just show them that a relationship between two is hugging, respect, helping each other out, maybe even tell me that I am beautiful or show them how to treat a woman as a queen?So he quit drinking for a while and for a second...a brief second, I thought maybe this could work.

Well, my biggest complaint with him has ALWAYS been, if you are going to drink, DO NOT drink and drive with the kids in the car. Sure enough this morning I emptied out a dozen beer cans and instead of hitting him over the head with them (which is what I really wanted to do, but I am not a violent person), I came in the house and said,I was trashing out my car and thought that I would help with yours... drink with the kids again...then you can just pack your bags...smiled and walked away.

So, now I have to play monitor when he transports a child. This just sucks! I do most of the transporting but can't be everywhere. I have anxiety right now, because he has to pick my little one up at 3:30, and even though it's only 1 mile, I also know accidents happen mostly close to home..

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Nov. 2, 2010 at 1:37 PM

Frankly, driving drunk without my children in the car would be hard for me to get past. If I EVER found out my husband was intoxicated while driving with my children, he'd be a divorced man if not a dead one. That is unforgivable to me. He's risking your children's safety. Forget love...that's enough RIGHT THERE!

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Nov. 2, 2010 at 5:44 PM

With his proven track record of drinking and driving with your kids in the car,why the f***k are you taking the risk that he'll do it again? Next time could be the time he kills your children!!! I'm sorry,my motto was always "do what you will to me,but hurt my kids or even place them in harms' way and I will kill you myself".If the authorities ever learned that you are allowing this to happen you'd lose those kids.I know you're stressed,I know things are in crisis mode,and I swear I'm not trying to bash you or add to your stress,but you need a wake-up call.Your DH is an alcoholic and alcoholics cannot control their drinking.The question is not if he will do it again but when and will there be injuries or fatalities and are you feeling lucky enough to take that chance?

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Nov. 3, 2010 at 8:14 PM

I'm sorry...it sounds like you have some decisions to make...good luck!

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