I am a mom who has been married for 10 years. My husband and I have been through some crazy stuff in the past. We have had our issues and problems. So, it is hard for me to think that I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I don't know because I just wrote my husband a letter that told him that I have fallen in love with his brother who is also married, he has also told me he loves me, but doesn't know what he wants to do. This past year my brother in law asked to start seeing me and we have a past and my husband had no problems sharing me, it's a questionable idea, yes I know. I thought it was just about sex, which I was fine with until he told me he loves me, and has loved me since we were in high school.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I wouldn't be in this situation if he hadn't opened it. He offered me to his brother-yes I could have said no, I understand, but I have always felt a pull to him.

So this has been going on about a year. And I'm falling apart. It is so more involved than I can even begin to explain. So I wrote to both of them, because when I'm facing them my mind goes blank and the words won't come to my mouth, and I'm giving them each a letter. One to my husband is admitting I've fallen in love with his brother, and if he wants me to leave I will. The other to his brother is telling him I want him to decide whether he wants me or not cause I hate floating. If they both reject me, I don't know where I'll go. I don't know what will happen with my kids. I have no idea of what will happen tomorrow. My friends are saying it will all work out, but I have a bad feeling. But I always expect the worst.

Please don't bash me. I know I'm in a big mess, but I'm working on getting out of it. I just needed to vent a little.

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Nov. 2, 2010 at 10:15 PM

Yes, it sounds like you have some serious stuff going on.  No, I can't say I identify with you on this situation. What were you ill with?  What do you mean that you  were offered to his brother?

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Nov. 2, 2010 at 10:19 PM

When I say offered I mean my husband asked his brother if he would want to have sex with me and he did so my husband told him to go ahead. I could have and should have refused, but we had a history before and I just couldn't say no at the time. My husband knows that I would do anything for him.

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Nov. 2, 2010 at 10:25 PM

Good grief, you do have a mess on your hands. Sounds like Polygamy might be the answer, but I don't know if that works for more husbands too?

I think the real issue you are stuck to deal with, is that these two men got the pleasure they wanted. Now YOU are left with the heartache.  Unfortunately us women tend to fall in love more so than men.  "Women give sex for love, men give love for sex." I think we all know that old adage.

Your letters are a good start. I think you need to get STRAIGHT answers out of both of them and not let them string along this "threesome" they are enjoying. 

 If you lose both of them, it might be a hard lesson learned as to the commitment of marriage.  Love triangles rarely work.Good luck finding some peace.

JUST MY OPINION< because you asked.

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Nov. 3, 2010 at 7:43 AM

Again,because you put yourself out there and opened your life for all of us to see,I'll offer my opinion and you can take what you need of it and leave the rest.I'm most likely a little older than you so take this as maybe some hard earned wisdom (although I've never even been tempted to sleep with my brother-in-law).Walk away from both of them.NO decent man who loved his wife like a man should would offer her to his brother sexually,and I don't give a rat's ass about your "history".History means it's in the past.Period.Now to your brother-in-law.Not only is he immoral for lying with his brother's wife,but as a married man he's a cheater.Once a cheater,always a cheater.In your selfish and childish pleasure at any cost approach to your life you are destroying a family.Relationships are going to crumble all around you.Think about it.Brothers,husbands,wives,sisters-in-law,cousins.Everyone will be hurt;I don't care how good the sex was,it's an insane price to pay.Again,I repeat: spend some time alone,seek some help,and try to figure out what made you do something so twisted and lacking morality.Find out what you're missing inside.

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Nov. 3, 2010 at 7:58 PM

Wow. Good Luck!

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Nov. 3, 2010 at 8:09 PM

daye62, Once a cheater, always a cheater=====untrue!!!

Not everyone who has ever cheated is always a cheater.


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Nov. 3, 2010 at 8:13 PM

I did talk to my husband's brother today. He still has feelings for me, but he doesn't want to destroy our marriages. He told me he was sorry for being selfish and for causing me the pain that they did. He is backing off and we are going to continue being family. Let the cousins hang out and still get together with our spouses to hang out like we all used to. It's gonna be an adjustment.

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Nov. 3, 2010 at 10:46 PM

i'm glad you worked it out

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