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I have given birth 3 times...hospital birth, "home"birth, Hospital birth...

I have such a hard time thinking about the third birth now...after the birth I justified everything...the pulling on my paranium, nurse yelling 1..2...3! Even after I told her to stop...the cord being cut to soon... The ass of a doctor I got in a fight with...they being flat on my back to push...I just keep looking back Going WTF did I do all that for?

Why did I just "deal" with the BS...When I think about it I just want to cry...and then I look back at how I got mad when someone pointed out that there where interventions that I was against...to those people I am sorry...and you where right.


I wish I could take it all back...that I could have a do-over and just stay home....

crying

But I can't, I have to deal with My choices...and do better next time.

I know most of the women here wont understand since Medical intervention is the Norm....I don't expect you to.


Next time I get Pregnant there is NO WAY I am going through that again...I just wont whether I can find a midwife or not.

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Comments:

Ruger...
Nov. 4, 2010 at 7:33 AM

Next time, make your decisions-defend yourself-and stand your ground. You can have the birth you dream of!

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babonwy
Nov. 4, 2010 at 11:22 AM

Well when your telling your doctor to get his hands out of your vagina and he doesn't listen I can't do a whole lot...I couldn't move (Just the way I am in the pushing stage).

I am just not going to a hospital again....uck.

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Ruger...
Nov. 5, 2010 at 7:53 AM

Yikes! That's just not right. I would have been furious too!

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moong...
Nov. 6, 2010 at 12:21 AM

I am so sorry.

The decisions I made for and during my son's birthcenter birth effect me every day. I pushed to the count of ten because that's what I thought you were suppose to do and my Lamaze class did not tell me otherwise. My midwife held onto my son's head to keep it from sliding back in during pushing stage causing a top and bottom tear which caused the fetal heimlch not to happen which cuased my son's lungs to retain amniotic fluid which caused us to be transfered to th hospital which caused us to be separated for 3 days with him in the NICU which cuased me to hemorrhage due to lack of breastfeeding.

I did the best with the information that I had at the time and so did you. I learned from it, but I still do feel guilty 11 years later. I am now a childbirth educator, and I help others keep from making the same mistakes I did. Maybe that is a path you can take?

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babonwy
Nov. 8, 2010 at 4:21 PM

I had the information...thats one of the reasons is hurts so much.

I knew what I was doing...I had been researching for years at that point...I knew better, but for some reason I just did it anyways.

I kick myself everyday.

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