Why is it that I always have to mess everything up in my life?

Why is it that I am so compelled to act on something without considering all the consequences?

Perhaps the world would be a better place without me in it... but I could never leave this earth without knowing that my children would not be taken care of properly.

I love them more than anything in this world, I just wish I could learn how to make the right decisions in life.

I don't want my children growing up thinking "mommy is a loser" "mommy is a bad person"

Maybe I should be alone.  I need not think about relationships and love. I need to focus on raising my children... their happiness WILL COME FIRST.

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beaut...
Nov. 4, 2010 at 12:19 AM

Dont worry, easier said then done i know. But remember there is no one in this world who will love you like your children. They wont think your a loser, your ther greatest person in the world! Their mommy! Life is difficult, we cant always make the right decisions, and humans are social people it is difficult to be alone, were just not built that way. Know that you will be fine, put your happiness in your children. I have learned that i am the best mother when i am single, and im proud of that. You wouldnt learn anything if you didnt make a " bad decision" it ok, life goes on and so will you. Everyone makes bad decisions, its ok really! Learn from it and move on as best as possible, your human, we all do it! No one can take care of your children better than you, no one can love your children better than you, so do your best and the best will come your way. In its own time! No worries! And know that your here for a purpose! However long it takes you'll find it!

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NAVAM
Nov. 4, 2010 at 8:37 AM

Just for TODAY!

Do not think about anything else but how wonderful your world really is.

Look out the window and truly watch a bird flying around looking for something to eat. Isn't he beautiful!

Watch your children play, laugh and sing. They are little angles from above, so innocent and sweet!

Go look in the mirror, you see that wonderful person standing there, no you are not prefect none of us are, but you are gift from God and he knows your pain and he knows the love you have for your children, just as much love as he has for you because you are his child. Now go let him watch you play, laugh and sing.

I can see God holding you in his arms rocking you back and forth, telling you how beautiful you are and how much he needs you here on earth right now. We do not always understand why but he will show you and guide you if you let him.

So just for TODAY let him give you the peace and love you so much deserve!

My prayers are with you and your children.

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older
Nov. 4, 2010 at 10:30 AM

Considering yourself a looser is your primary mistake, you are human and make mistakes like everyone else, you need to learn from them and forgive yourself to carry on.  I bet your kids will never think of you as you see yourself. Show your children through example, life is worth living always , when times get tough the weak need to get tougher. The only thing that does you cannot solve and repair is death, everything else has a solution.

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