so i totally quit counting calories because my life is ALREADY very busy and it was very tedious. although, i did learn that what i make for dinner, for each of us is actually 2 servings. so now i can kind of eye out what is the correct portion which is a plus. i lost 5lbs counting calories, and i drank sooooo much water, and i honestly didn't feel any better or healthier and i didnt look any better either. so, that was quite discouraging. but, for some god awful reason, i've bounced up to...160lbs. i also found out that i have a hiatal hernia. cool huh? no. anyway, my grandpa came to visit for halloween weekend and he took lots of pictures, and a few were of me. i almost threw up in my mouth seeing them. i'm completely disgusted with my appearance, and am determined to change...but can't really find motivation and it costs money to be skinny lol. so, we're getting an elliptical machine, and i'm hoping we get it today. i'm so eager to be happy in my own skin again, but can't get a grip to start, i guess. things have to change. i don't want this to effect my husband anymore(and as long as my boys are happy and  they always are, i'm happy with them). if anyone can help, i'd appreciate it!

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