Okay so I know that my family loves me.  Family meaning, my mom, my dad, my husband, my kids, and even my sister. 

But today as in many other days.  I totally wish to just leave, go somewhere else and totally have a new life.  And I don't mean a new husband and new kids because I love them all right back.

But I get so sick of them thinking I am incompetent at worst, or ditzy at best.  My husband used to think of me as a competent person who could do anything.  Then we moved around my family.  They always "think" they know who I am, but rarely bother to "see" who I am.  To them, I was a good student that never got into trouble but that apparently thinks a little too much outside the box for them.  And they seem to think I have no common sense sometimes.  Its upsetting when the people you love the most, basically see you as the proverbial dumb blonde.  Its awful to be in this position.  And I've spoken to them about this, but they don't get it.  Really are clueless.  My Dh says this isn't true, but I know that there's a huge difference as to how he treated me 15 years ago and the way he does now.

No, I don't think and do things the way they would do them, but that doesn't mean that it won't work.  Or if I could be allowed to explain my thinking they might just get what I am trying to accomplish.

My parents and sister aren't awful people.  Actually I know I am lucky in that department.  And if you asked my parents they would tell you I am terrific and how proud of me they are.  Yet they insist on telling stories that they feel are "funny" that really just show me in a bad light.  Its just I fill a particular role for them, and they refuse to let me grow out of it.

Right now we are moving.  We don't have a lot of time to do this in and I can't get to the things I need to do because they all can't make a decision without me.  For instance, my son and husband were taking things to the storage place this morning.  All they had to do was load the boxes and go.  Yet for some reason I had to go too and tell them how I want the storage arranged! I could have been packing more boxes in that time!  And when we go to move (which my parents are helping with) they are all going to blame me for things not being finished or organized and it'll become another of their "funny" stories about how I procrastinate and am disorganzied. 

The point of a new life would just be to show them or remind them what I can do! Its a fantasy, moving to a new town, finding a new job, and being on my own and proving that not only would I survive, but quite possibly I would thrive.

I could go back to school for something totally out of their perception.  I could take flying lessons like I've always wanted too.   Maybe learn to ride a motorcycle.   Take fencing and dancing.  Learn Greek.   All of my "wild ideas" that I would never do in their opinions.

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