Written In The Stars

Stories by Amorentia & shtteredprincess

Reg POV

I could feel the crunch of the rocks under my shoe's as we made our way to the chairs lining the small casket.  There were sprays of flowers forming a circle all around the area Sara had picked as the resting spot for their little girl.  No church, no parlor, no funeral procession.  She'd been determined and J had backed her every step of the way.  My fingers clutched Tori's a little tighter in a squeeze of support, seeing the two of them standing together, away from the rest of the gathering crowd.  That was Peni's determination, I thought with a smile, watching the Pack run interference between them and anyone who thought to head their way.  I'm pretty sure Peni had gone as far as to make a VIP list for who was allowed to get through.  It was with a sister's loving heart that Peni guided the Pack left and right from the safety of Marcus' arms, knowing Sara like we did.  Just getting through these moments was enough for her, adding more would be too much.  We'd all seen the way she folded under the idea of Blaise's death, the reality of her child's was more than any one should bare.  To add more on top of that would be cruel, even if the pressure was added from love.

Tori and I took our spots up front with the family.  I'd tried to argue my spot with the friends, but Sara wouldn't hear it.  "Your my family"  she said with tears clouding her eyes.  Seeing the tears, I caved, putting away my fight and replacing it with a hug.  She was my family too.  Reaching out a hand now, I placed it on her shoulder, feeling her fingers cover mine as she turned, those saline eyes soaked in a sadness that tore at my heart.  But there was no bad guy to fight for her here, no words to say or point to make to take the pain away.  Instead, I kissed the back of her head, letting her sink back into J's side once more, the rise and fall of her shoulders giving away the struggle for every breath.  My other hand curved to J;s shoulder, just letting him know we were here for him too.  Yeah, he had a tribe and a pack beside and behind him, but they hadn't stood by his side unable to breath at the thought of her loss.  They hadn't torn apart the world and then the men that brought about the hell he was swimming in.  That had been me and him. 

Adjusting my jacket to take a seat, I tried not to think about my own reaction to finding out about the baby they'd lost.  It was impossible not too, not to remember how unhappy I'd been about her creation.  It was getting tough, being in my head with all the things going on beneath the perfectly styled locks of my ex-wife.  Because I knew them, from one look, I knew the thoughts and doubts and pains she was pouring into her open wounds.  I could feel the responsibilities she was accepting over the outcome of the whole situation.  I knew her enough to know that somewhere in there, she was blaming herself.  I knew in a lot of ways, she could be blaming me. I wondered if she knew all I had done, all I had known, if she would.  If this loss was my penance for doing things the way I viewed as right.  The whisper in my ear of her words "As long as it doesn't hurt my kids" added another stone to my heart.  But there was no going back, not for me, not for her, not for any of us.  No turning back time to do things in a different way, no chance to undo the wrongs we'd done or unmake the choices we'd made.  Life just doesn't work that way.  And for once, I kept my guilt to myself, not for my own benefit though I knew the potential loss of her would wound in ways that wouldn't heal, but for hers.  Twisted reasoning or not, I knew the loss of me would cut her the same.  She'd already lost enough.

Morgan POV

Quietly, I slid into a chair in the back row, trying not to draw attention from the crowd around me.  I knew many would see no reason for me to be here.  In most eyes, I was still the bad guy.  But I wanted to be here.  From my spot, I could see as the little casket raised above the ground on its blue throw covering the metal frame below.  The banner that hung across it was simple, the words an arrow to any feeling heart "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever" The pearly pink of her resting place was lined with baby blue blankets, the tiny form bundled within not even the length of my forearm, but so soft.  So beautiful, even in her premature sleeping state you could see just how precious she was meant to be.  Her parents, Jalil and Sara, stood on either side of her, Sara adjusting the toys I was sure the kids had hand picked for their baby sister, tears streaming down her porcelain cheeks as she leaned against Jalil.  He looked like he was barely holding on himself, his own eyes red and brimming with goodbye's he didn't want to have to say. 

Albus came behind them, resting a gentle hand on the shoulder of his niece, leaning forward to whisper something.  I couldn't see his words, but by the slow nod of her head and the fresh tears on her face, I knew it must be time.  Soft fingers left the folds of the satin encasing the child within, for a span of a breath, neither parent moving and then in unison, tracing the still hands of the daughter they created together before turning away.  Jalils arms held her tight as her knee's buckled slightly beneath her, the push of her air visible in the puff of her cheeks.  But she was Sara.  She got her feet back under her, standing tall, slim hands smoothing over the belled skirt of her vintage dress and the two of them took their seats, his arm around her shoulders, her head against his.  However it was I'd missed it before, it was glaringly obvious now.  They were a unit.

Sara POV

I wasn't sure how people did this, but I was trying to remind myself they did.  Everyday, somewhere, someone was doing exactly what we were doing now.  Burying a child.  Resting against J's shoulder, I felt the tears slip from my jaw and onto the surface of his black shirt.  He looked so handsome, black shirt, black pants, and tie, even the red rim of his eyes and the lack of dazzle in his incredible smile didn't detract from it.  But more important than that, was him being here, being solid, being strong, being J at a time when I wasn't sure I'd ever needed anyone more.  I just hoped he knew I was here for him as well.  Me and the many people filing into every chair.  Glancing around as Uncle Alby collected himself to begin, my eyes fell on the people I loved.  My Peni, she looked, well, like a girl with her make-up on in amounts I'd never seen her wear.  She looked beautiful, but not that wild and free Peni beautiful that glowed from the inside out.  That beautiful had been stolen, along with so much else, in a dirty basement beneath the floor of the home from hell.  But there was a different beauty in the bravery she showed now, in the everyday way she continued to battle through the changes of her life.  I lost a child, Peni lost herself.  Softly I reached out, brushing her hand inspite of Marcus' look, knowing with all we lost, we had enough to make it through.  The pad of my thumb brushed the tear off her cheek as her hand reached out to do the same and for the barest hint of a moment, we were alone again, in that room, her arms around me and mine around Grace.  My eyes held hers and I'd like to think in that moment, we drew from one another just enough to get through the moments that would follow, because with she and I, it would always be give and take.

The sound of my uncle clearing his throat brought me back to the now and my eyes back sight of him standing there, his hands clasped behind his back as he began to speak, welcoming everyone.  He was the right choice, I knew the moment his low calming voice washed over the gathered crowd, his blue eyes touching on every face.  I felt the slight shift of my husbands arm, seeing Jaunelle's hand lightly rest over the one that wasn't around me, feeling my dad's hand do the same.  Holding hands with one another, with listened as Uncle Alby began the poem he'd picked to say goodbye to our little girl.

Marcus POV

I held my pretty Peni in my arms, listening silently as Albus went through the normal greetings, standing tall inspite of the tears slipping past his eyes as he spoke "There are no words to change the past, no spells to make destiny change it's course.  All we have in the world is the moment we are in and the choice in that second of how to live it.  There are hello's, there are goodbye's.  There is life, and regardless of the unfairness of it all, there are deaths.  There is getting through them both.  None of it is easy." He cleared his throat, looking towards the family, to Sara and J, "But we are all given the strength to do it.  I leave you now, not with my own words, but with words of one possibly more wise than I"

God's Lent Child
I’ll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said
For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?

She’ll bring her charms to gladden you and should her stay be brief
You’ll always have her memories as a solace in your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked this whole world over in my search for teachers true
And from the folk that crowd Life’s lane I have chosen you.
Now will you give her all your love and not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again?

I fancy that I heard them say “Dear God, thy will be done.
For all the joys this child will bring the risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter her with tenderness, we’ll love her while we may
And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever grateful stay.
But should the angels call her much sooner than we’d planned
We will brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."

My own tears dropped before he finished, for a moment, the tunnel of my vision widened to take in not just the suffering of my wife and our family, but of my brother and his.  Leaning forward, I pressed a hand on Ebony's shoulder, letting the loss of it all sink in.  The tiny form in that coffin was my niece.  It was the little girl J and I had sat around the tables on the nights when the girls were at work planning a future for.  It was his dream of seeing the same blend of his and Sara's feature's that I'd dreamed of for Peni's and mine.  It was Grace, who was supposed to grow up to play with all my kids, to be the daddy's girl to J the way Brenna was to me.  It was all of this that I hadn't taken the time to think about until now. 

Showing he could feel my presence now, his cheek momentarily left the crown of Sara's head to rest against my hand as my Peni kissed the fingers that clasped her own.  I was more than a little grateful in that instant, not just for everything we had, but for the things they'd forgiven more for that I hadn't even seen.  For being so selfish in my own concerns that I hadn't looked outside to see the grief of others.  Leaning back, I knew that was something I needed to say to them later, turning new eyes on the casket up front, my heavy heart even heavier feeling the loss that lay within.

Jalil POV

Sara made her way to the front of the crowd. The Easter wind whipped around her, making the fabric of her dress billow like a flag. The loose hair caught like leaves in the wind blowing around her sorrow filled face until she stopped to face the crowd. Almost like it was timed between she and Mother Nature, the wind stopped. The effect was spellbinding.
 
In one hand Sara clutched her dress while it fell to her sides in the stillness of the wind. Her other arm wrapped around her own waist, holding herself with all the strength she had. There was a part of me that wanted to rush to her side to hold her up. But I knew my wife better than anyone. I knew she needed this. She needed to do this on her own her own way.
 
One single white rose delicately stripped of all it's thorns rested in the hand against her black dress. Standing beside the tombstone, her puffy eyes fell onto our daughters casket. Though her words were as soft as the lips that parted to speak them, her voice traveled on the wind reaching the heart of everyone around with the depth of a Mother's love and loss, "How many people get to save two lives before they ever even take a breath?  How many of us can say we kept worlds from falling apart, even though we never even opened our eyes?"

"For as long as I've known Peni," for a moment her eyes fell on my Sister who gave her a weak smile as matching tears fell down both of their soft cheeks. "She's spouted the words, 'Everything happens for a reason.' Because Grace was here, we are. Because she was given to me, to us," her brown eyes found mine. I mouthed my love to her, with an encouraging smile. A strength filled my wife's voice, a confidence evident in the lift of her chin, "Because she was given to us, Peni and I are alive to take care of her Brother and Sisters, her Cousins, her Dad, her Uncle...we're here because she was. I can only make sense of this all by thinking, if everything happens for a reason, if every life has a purpose, maybe hers really was to be our Saving Grace." Saving Grace. It was one of my first nicknames for the beautiful woman that is my wife. She was my Saving Grace before I became hers. It was fitting that our first baby, Grace, became ours.
 
There truly was an endless source for the river of tears that freely flowed from Sara's brown eyes. For a moment, again, I could see the form of our Grace in her arm. In turn, I could feel how light our Daughters body felt in my own arm as Sara went on, "She was here.  She took a breath, she fit so perfectly into arms that feel empty now.  She saved lives, she changed my world and the world of every life she touched, and she did it all in the span of a few short heart beats before being called back." All eyes shifted with Sara's to the resting place where our Gracie was held only by the walls of her casket box. "Called away from us and the arms that are aching to hold her." Wiping her face, my sweet Sara shored herself up saying all she could. In a sentence she said it all, "But she was here and for whatever reason she had to leave, I'm going to be thankful with every breath I take, with every beat of my heart, that she was here and because she was, I am."
 
Another spellbinding minute, Sara stood for the last time, Mother and Daughter. It was almost like Grace was in the wind hugging her as a soft breeze wrapped around body. Her dress and hair lifted as she stood strong. My heart filled with pride while I walked to stand next to her side, adding my strength and determination to hers. As a unit, two who made a living miracle, we held onto each other. As a unit, two who were burying the tiniest of heroes, we faced our family and friends together to say our last goodbyes, "I...I hate talking under these circumstances. I'd rather come at people with a joke, or something light than heavy. This is a heavy time. We've lost a lot. I have to go with what my Sara said. There is a light. Gracie's light. Our Saving Grace gave us back two lives our family and community could not be complete without. Now it's up to every one of us to decide what we're going to do with that gift. For Grace, in honor of the Divine love and protection she freely gave her life for, I ask you to live to the most. Appreciate each other. Take care of and love one another. Don't miss a minute to tell someone in your life what they mean to you. Live each moment like it's your last so you make the most of every second... for Grace."
 
Then a song rose up thick and rich like a tapestry as Mama sang, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me......"
 
Her song echoed off the trees, carrying far back to the ends of the crowd. At first everyone stood still, silent, caught in a moment where heaven touched earth catching all of us in-between. Then one by one everyone's voice chimed in line after line, verse after verse. In each other's arms, we turned, Sara and myself laying tear soaked eyes for the last time on the box holding the body for our little girl while they slowly lowered it in the ground.
 
Through many dangers, toils and snares...
We have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

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Nov. 4, 2010 at 6:58 PM

Sara Black written by shtteredprncess. Derek Morgan by shtteredprnces. Marcus Flint written by shtteredprncess. Jalil Clearwater written by Amorentia  Reg Black written by shtteredprncess.

Comments are welcome! Please PM shtteredprnces or join TTLG HERE.

Want to read more? What to join in the Creative Writing fun? Our full stories are in the RPG writing group Through The Looking Glass. Link HERE to join as a reader or writer.

 

With all respect, we pay homage to the brilliance of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Series and JK Rowling's Harry Potter series with the Characters we borrow for this ongoing Fan Fiction. Thank you!

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