blunudle's Journal

A little bit of everything....

Okay, so for the past several years my ex has made it his life's mission to make me miserable on all accounts.  Approximately, 6 months ago he finally stopped threatening me with bodily harm any time he didn't get his way.  Of course, by not getting his way I mean things like my showing up at court for his DL suspension hearing for non-payment of child support and speaking my peace, or my son (12 yrs old) not wanting to spend time with him on the rare occasion that I was out of town, etc.  Somehow, I was responsible for his having to pay child support.  In his mind, he has my son right at 40% of the time, and that is nearly half, therefore, he shouldn't have to pay anything!  I provide health insurance, all doctor's visits, most of everything else, but I'm the crazy one. So, when I do a silly thing like go and up and speak in court, I then have to field off threatening phone calls because the judge finds against him and he loses his license!

Well, like I've said, he recently stopped acting like a maniac .  For how long, though, remains to be seen.

At any rate, here we are embarking on a child support modification hearing because he has requested to have his "below poverty level child support" of a $108 per month lowered because he finally filed taxes (for the 1st time in 4 years).  His income has been impacted by the economy - he's in construction, but I don't buy it.  I watched for nine years how he dodged his child support obligation to his two daughters from his first marriage, and he did it with a sense of accomplishment. You see, he feels that he contributes to his children's upbringing therefore should not have to pay additional.  I know how he operates and I expect nothing, which is why I let the state go after him.  Even if I wanted to, I do not have the money to chase after $108 per month.  It simply is not cost-effective, if you know what I mean. 

So here we are - I am supposed to respond to the request and file it with the courts.  He falsified his documents by stating that he now has our son half of the time and accounts for all of my son's care financially.  It was a bold-faced lie.  We have not modified the visitation in any way.  In fact, he's missed a few visits, due to his work schedule.  But when the courts requested documented proof, he ignored it because he has none, because it was a lie.  When I asked him why he lied, he simply said it was beside the point and tried to change the subject.  Some things never change.

I have truly made an effort to live in peace, especially these past few months and he is responding in kind.  However, my gut tells me that a leopard does not change its spots.  Once we get past this child support modification he will resort to his old ways.  I just want to get through the holidays......

I don't feel guilty, but why should I?

I'm interested to hear what others think or what others have experienced....

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