I've come to notice that the older I get, the further away I grow from what I considered vital in my earlier years.  Friends, for one.  Of course, I still have my friends, I see them from time to time.  On a random Thursday we might get together for a shopping trip and dish about our jobs or our relationship status. We could be watching the game at someone's house on a Saturday in the fall, cursing our teams for their utter failure.  We might even get a chance to sneak off to the bar one weekend because our husbands owe us a night out sans kids. 
But the connection we felt during those awkward teenage years where we were closer than family and it was simply impossible to make any kind of life changing decisions without one another's input just isn't there anymore.  Maybe it's a good thing.  Maybe it just means we're all slightly more independent, but at the same time, it makes me sad to realize that that bond we had with each other- that indescribable feeling of trust and joy and sisterhood- has faded. Not completely, but faded nonetheless.
I kind of miss the days when we were each other's lives.  When it wasn't unthinkable to stay out past three a.m., shouting out demented propositions to unsuspecting pedestrians on campus, pushing each other through the frozen food section in shopping carts while snapping pictures of penis shaped packaging, playing air hockey and pinball at the arcade and using our tickets to acquire cheap toys made in China that we'd immediately violate with a ball point pen by drawing questionable expressions and anatomical parts.  Driving up and down streets aimlessly, lost in an alternative mix that made the world make a bit more sense, that made us feel empowered, alive, free. I miss my purple hair and lip piercing, laying in the diag, looking up at the sky, waiting for someone to announce a party or start a conversation.  I miss spending the night in someone else's bed and waking up not knowing whether it was afternoon or evening. 
I miss my youth. I didn't realize it would be so fleeting.

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Comments:

sunki...
Nov. 5, 2010 at 12:21 AM

Love it! I feel the same way

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SPYGRIL
Nov. 5, 2010 at 6:05 PM

same here

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