Journey back to ME.

My battle with stress, and anxiety.

Hi everyone .. 

I just wanted to fill you in on the last few months of my life.

I'm the one last year that would regularly post the "Journey back to ME"

First off thank you for all your kind words/comments to my Journal entries you have no idea how much they meant reading them. To someone like me that went from a good life to having it stop and change the next words of encouragement helped so much. 

When I first woke up and couldn't leave my house Aug of 09 I was lost. I was confused as to what happened to me and why. Since then I have read so much about this disorder and I continue to read about it. I have through the group I created on here for Stress Anxiety and Panic have met some loving, caring, wonderful, Couragous mom's and I really mean that! 

It was a fight at the beginning and it still is. Some times I don't feel like I have it till I leave the house or do something that makes me think " why don't I feel fear or nervous" then I feel it.. lol

I still haven't made it back to see my mom she is actually been here 4 times this year and I just had a cook out for my parents and my friends a few weeks ago. This way if I can't make Christmas with my family I've at least seen then recently. I haven't been out of my town in a while with the exception of going with my husband to a town just 12 miles away. TO me it felt as if it were an hour drive.. Gotta love GAD.. lol

I have been working and still do.. *yeah* And I enjoy my job. There are times when I have slight attacks at work and no one knows. You learn to adapt to it all  really. I had one problem last week when I had worked sick and with little sleep. I had an attack on the way to work. It wasn't full blown but it was enough to put a wall between my house and town. They were very understanding and didn't treat me funny the next day. My hours have been cut thought till next spring. I shall now only work wed, thrus, and friday during the week. I have told them about how the winter can mess with me and they have been very understanding if I cannot come in.:) This was is a great job to have and just the right amount of hours still. I also work for Cafe mom now.. so I get a little income there.. :) plus I have a local cafe that would like to buy turn overs when I get around to making them.. lol I admit working full weeks did make me tired. 

So other than that .. I have held to my saturdays with my kids. We go to the library and then out to lunch. Even on my bad days I make sure I do this with them. I have missed so much of the past year with them and I want to make the best of what season we have left before the winter comes. 

I am feeling good though.. I have recently printed out all my Journals on here and on my other site. plus all my note books. I keep having this dream that I should put them all together and make the book I long to write. I never knew what that book was till this Journey began and now I feel it's needed. Though I'm still pondering that .. ;)

So there you have it.. 

I'm doing well.. I'm supporting others.. and I'm slowly taking small steps to finding my way back.. though a very changed person!!! 

TO those out there with anxiety, or stress, or panic attacks..Your never alone. There is always someone or someones that understand and relate. 

You are always welcome to my group .. 


and .. You can also find me now a Mod in the 

30's group in cafe mom. :)

maybe I'll see you there.. 

and I shall continue to update as I progress.. again many things to all of you ..:)

Happy and Safe weekend to all...:)

Add A Comment


Nov. 5, 2010 at 8:41 PM

Thanks for the update. It sounds like you are doing great!  :-) An occasional "bump" that you recover from is so FAR from where you were, you know? So far!! are getting out and doing so much more with your life now...that's great! I'm really glad to hear you are making and taking special time for your children...I'm sure they love that! And...I do hope you will make turnovers for the shop...that would be a great way to get out and to stay busy (and make some money)!  I do think you should write the book....using all you found and your own experiences to do could help someone else, you know? And...yes...Winter is FAST KNOW this GET know how you MAY, have lots to do and specific times to do it! Don't let the thought of Winter coming "freeze" can do this...ALL year long! :-) Good Luck! I hope you all have a great weekend!

Message Friend Invite

Nov. 6, 2010 at 8:38 AM

I hope you make the turnovers. Lots of work but well worth the effort. Sounds like you have made quite a journey. You are a strong woman and seem to be facing this all head on. You really should write the book. In the least it may be a healing process of sorts. To put all this out there is amazing. Sounds like you have helped others who in turn have also helped you. You are doing wonderfully.

Message Friend Invite

Nov. 7, 2010 at 2:13 PM

You are doing fantastic and I know you are going to keep moving foward because you have a positive attitude and are helping others and growing in health everyday! Keep making you journey a great one!


Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in