My sister allows her daughter, a senior in high school, to have parties that involve alcohol. The thought seems to be "she is going to do it anyway, I would rather she do it here." There is the constant debate about legalizing marijuana.."They are going to do it anyway, may as well legalize it and collect taxes on it." A co-worker stated that she bought her daughter marijuana (illegal in this state) to try "she would have done it anyway."

Yesterday I learned my 17 year old had been receiving inappropriate test messages from a girl. (those he sent out were appropriate, relatively speaking). My husbands response was, you guessed it, "He's going to do things like that anyway, better that we know about it."

1. How does it make it less wrong that we know about it?

2. Isn't the whole "they're going to do it anyway" mentality just parents being lazy and giving their kids too little credit for making good choices? I would never assume my children are going to drink or do drugs and am very certain that they have not.

3. Isn't it our job to guide them so that they don't choose to do it anyway?

Give your kids some credit, give yourself some credit. If you ever say "they're going to do it anyway." It means. You are okay with it and have taught them that it is okay.

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