So I know it's only been like a week and a half... I know I saw this coming...but it's still hard. At first, I think I took it better than I thought I would...I mean, I kind of prepared myself for it. It just feels like it's falling on me more and more and I am trying to keep it together for my husband because he leaves for Afghanistan soon...but when does this get easier? Why do miscarriages even have to happen? This is 2 now...I never thought I would have 1, and now I have 2? I don't understand how women have multiple miscarriages and still have the will to try knowing full well it could happen again. I am on the brink of not wanting to try again...ever...because I am so deeply afraid of a 3rd time. The doctor said next time should be fine...but that's what I heard the last time. I know I need to leave it in God's hands and that what he wants for me will happen...but why does it have to be so hard? Why do I have the wanting and yearning for another child? I just don't get it. Why does it have to be there? Why can't it just go away so I don't have to feel this pain anymore? I have all these questions and I know the standard answers...pray about it, give it to God...ok. I understand that...but it's easier said then done. Does it even get easier? How do you even go about doing those it to God and such? I feel so lost...and so turned around...where do I go from here? I just don't know.

Sorry for the rambling...kind of hurting tonight :(

Amy Lynn

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Nov. 8, 2010 at 2:53 AM

I'm sorry you're going through all of this :( I don't have any of the answers either. Wish I did.... I just wanted to let you know I read your journal and I'm thinking about you. If you need anything let me know. I wish I could help you more.... (((Hugs))) 

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