Question: Do you think that CafeMom is REALLY a place for moms to express themselves?


Yes! I've never had an issue saying what I want.

Kind of. I've had to watch what I say before, even though I thought it was okay.

No. I've been censored numerous times for expressing myself.

Only if you're willing to conform.

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This isn't my first time here, but I'm actually quite positive that this will be my last.  I can say that with happiness now, and I can say that with all the sincerity in my very full heart. 

CafeMom isn't a REAL place for moms.  CafeMom is for moms who want the competition of, "I felt my baby kick!" when it is literally PHYSICALLY impossible for you to feel a kick at 12 weeks, even if it is a subsequent pregnancy.  Do you know why?  The uterus doesn't extend above the pubis (the pubic bone) until after the 12th week of gestation.  While everyone is put together just a tad bit differently...some things you can't change.  You can brag to your other group members all you want - but competing about feeling a kick is nearly insanity.  

Then comes all the competitions with the babies.  Who's sleeping through the night, who's crawling, who's eating what.....there literally isn't ANYTHING on this web community that a woman won't brag about.  At first I thought that it was merely in my head, but it just gets worse the older the children get.  There are contests for everything.  Our society is a winning one, but when it comes to our children....I'd say we all win. 

CafeMom isn't a REAL place to express your thoughts.  CafeMom is a place for you to express the thoughts that are accepted as 'the norm'.  While your opinions are uniquely your own, they are not always given the light of day by others.  They are deleted, you are blocked, or you are deleted entirely.  CafeMom is essentially a place for you to say what other people want to hear.  If you are anything different, you're criticized.  Religion, politics, health, disorders, anything....if someone disagrees with your opinion, you're ostracized, criticized,...bashed.  Why would you want to say anything against the social norm now? Not to mention that I know of people who have had their IPs permanently blocked for saying things that hold no meaning.  Grab your dictionaries, folks.  YOU give these words negative meanings because you keep being offended when someone says that traffic is retarded.  You know what that means....it means that traffic is slow.  My dog walks with a retarded gait.  Do you know what that means?  It means he walks slowly. 

When CM first started, I was slightly wary.  I mean, a "MySpace" for Moms?  I joined anyways to give it a fair shot.  I joined the group dealing with my eldest son and it was okay, but nothing grand.  I was pregnant, so I joined that group and started pissing off people left and right because I have a 'no holds barred' attitude. I say what I want, when I want, how I want.  Some people think it's hilarious, other people think it's rude.  I'm sorry, but the PC level has gone up and the common sense level has gone down.  I call people out when they're lying.  I've caught numerous fake profiles on this site, numerous creepy men, picture thieves, all of it.  People will lie about ANYTHING and everything. 

I became a very big contributor to the site, I had a gaggle of women who I met in person and love as my own sisters.  I was helped through a divorce by these women.  I was introduced to the love of my life by one of these women.  My life has been changed by one person that I met off of CM, and for that I am thankful.  Those women don't use this site anymore, because of reasons all dealing with moderators and the people in charge.  Because they realized that they were only REALLY able to say what others were willing to hear.  Because things on here keep changing, people are more sensitive, people are getting testy over words and because everything is a competition.

This place is not a place for everyone.  It's a place for people who feel that they have something to prove to women who they do not know.  The friends that I made off of here will tell you much the same.  Women are catty.  Women are incredulous. 

You shouldn't have to censor yourself.  You shouldn't have to sugar coat things.  You shouldn't have to lie to people to make them feel better about themselves.  

You started off wonderful CafeMom.  You started off as a real community filled with women who were free to express themselves.  It turned into contests and censorship with women who can't handle their emotions.  Your following is largely uneducated in the real world.  I think I'll pass....

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