So I have been thinking a lot about my sons Birth mom lately. We adopted our DS from my DHs  Sister a little over 3 years ago. She told me she didn't want him and that she had no love for him. She had passed a size able clot when she was pregnant with him and told me she was relieved, because she thought she had lost him.This was not her first child, She has a son who is 17 and a daughter who is 5 and exactly 1 day short of two years old then my son. She told my DH and I she knew our DS was going to have all kinds of problems, she basically treated him as though he was damaged. Which is quite the opposite of what he is.  He is an amazing little boy , he is the Joy of mine and my DH life. We had tried many times to have children with no luck, then we were blessed with Justin in September of 2007 3 months after he was born. 

I have been married to my husband for almost 9 years now and we have had our ups and downs.  Our main issues is this coming Thanksgiving, where we are traveling to his Aunts house about 6 hours away from us , and His sister is going to be there. I have issue with this, due to the fact that she constantly tries to 1.) compare her Daughter to my son and also 2.) that she tries to tell me how to raise my son and this frustrates me to no end. Yet I am supposed to sit there and be nice to her and let her treat me like I am some idiot that doesn't know what I am doing because I am not raising my son the way she feels I should.   Now I am aware she has not say in the way I raise my son, it is just the fact that she feels she needs to tell me. I also hate how she tells everyone she Had him for us, when she didn't . She asked us 3 months after she had had him because she had asked Hers and DH parents if they would take him and they suggested us to her. There were many things that she wanted to go in the adoption agreement that well just didn't because we adopted him out right and we our his legal parents.

I guess I am just venting, because I have to see her soon and I just can't stand to be around her, and I am always nice, but my patients is wearing thin. I don't think I am out of line for feeling this way, but I have to keep how I feel to myself , because it is my DH sister and I don't wish to cause problems , but how much more of her crap am I supposed to take?

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Comments:

hotma...
Nov. 8, 2010 at 9:51 AM

oh i wouldn't wanna be you right now

i just dont know how i could deal with that, sorry :(

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MakG
Nov. 8, 2010 at 10:22 AM

you have every right to feel how you do.  Venting is a good way to deal with it, like you, I am too nice and don't put anyone in their place but that's because i believe in Karma it's never failed. I just hope that they would have some respect for your son. It's not fair to him, they should act like mature adults and keep things civil and show thanks. Teach the kids through display and actions. I empathize with you and wish you luck and happiness for your thanksgiving

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knagsmom
Nov. 8, 2010 at 10:24 AM

i have an aunt who has 4 girls that she doesnt raise but then goes and has another child and keeps this one cause its a boy. she gave her last daughter to her brother and his wife to adopt. and is regularly in that girls life. she doesnt say half what ur dh sis says but likes to tell me how to raise my kids. so i know some of your feelings. just ignore her as best as u can.

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