I have seen so many changes in my girls the last 2 years, and the truth is I see them in myself too.  I have posted often about my older dd and boys, and the rules.  The thing is, she is a great kid.  Yes they was, and I use the word was carefully, a boy that she was head of heals for and I HATED.  And for the most part I hated this boy because he continually let her down.  He is the only boy I have ever felt was not good enough for her.  But after a series of more let downs I think she has come to a place where she sees that I only wanted what was best for her. I think she understands that alittle better.  She is a senior in high school and we have been doing the college thing.  And I tell you it is so hard for me to even think about.  I want her to go and do well and have a good time, but Lord, I wish she would just stay home!! 

We have had some hard times, but we both have grown up, I think she even likes me again!!!!  But the thing that has changed the most is me.  I have come to understand that to keep her and be a part of her life I have to let her go.  And it is so hard.  I realize that the more I nag, push and yell the faster and further away from me she pulled.  I just want her to learn from my mistakes, but the truth is I have to let her make her own.  She is smart, and will make some good choices and some bad ones,but she knows the difference between a mistake and a life changing event.  The biggest thing she has learned lately is that no matter what, I will be here forever.  I always told my girls when they were little that no one will love them like I do.  And I think as time goes on they see what I really meant by that.  I learned what NOT to do or say from my mother, and have worked really hard to learn from her mistakes.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, when my girls leave my heart will be full and broken at the same time. But that is what life is about. And they know that I will always be here and where ever that is it will be home.

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