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Hello all! My four year old will be turning five in a week and just started kindergarten last week. He has been so very mean lately i just dont know whats going on. Its like dealing with a teenager, hes angry all the time and always has something smart to say. He was always happy, calm and goofy. Im dont know if this is normal or if there is something wrong. On top of that ever since i became pregnant with my second son 18 months ago he will not stop peeing on himself. He was potty trained before the pregnancy, no accidents, no nothing, i just dont know what to do anymore. Ive tried charts, stickers, bribes, praise, even waking him up and taking him in the middle of the night. I even cut off fluid intake, he still pees. Ive read many parenting books and no method seems to help.

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Veron...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 11:34 AM

This so sounds like my child..when she was younger.   She is now a teenager, and still has some pretty rough tantrums....She is a Down Syndrome child....but the principle still applies.

I believe the reason your child might be doing this is right in front of you....Your saying "since I became pregnant with my second child 18 months ago he will not stop peeing on himself...."  

I believe that he is looking for attention, because he was No 1 until your second child came along....If you don't mind the comparison, doggies do this when they are upset about their owners not paying attention to them....

If I can add my own experience here....When my girl (only child) was little I was working as a teacher and had to run a household on top of taking care of her....(I am now homeschooling her)  She would do the same thing...pee or poop on the floor.....to get my attention....also banged her head and ripped up things she could reach when I was gone.....  I got mad about the poop and the things she ripped and tried to ignore the head banging...(her head NEVER bled by the way...and it has not affected her brain...:)  Her problem:  She was used to being waited on hand and foot....as she was getting older she was seeing that she was not exactly the center of my being anymore....I had to also take care of MY OWN needs-still do!!!!....That was hard for her to understand.....She has eventually grown out of it, has become very independent and became potty trained at age 10, FINALLY because she herself made an issue of it.....She has temper tantrums now at sharp noises or when her routine is changed.....I try to work with her assertively....through my voice and actions...

Back to your child.....The second one is naturally taking a great amount of your time-As a baby should....It could be your 4 year old doesn't understand that......He is still processing he is not  #1 anymore....and is acting out to show you that he doesn't like it!!!!  He will take any attention he can get:  good or bad...

Don't give up, mama....Just keep loving him.....Make sure he gets some of his time just from you....and from daddy, also....Keep on using every great method you are using now. If one stops working...just revisit  old ones......It WILL get through to him sooner or later (Hopefully sooner!!!!) Please don't do what I did...focused on the negative...always better to focus on the positive....then back off a little...and keep smiling  :) 

Just a little caution on the fluid intake....Please make sure he gets plenty of fluids during the day...but may maybe limit it just before bedtime.....

I hope I have been of help.....time should take care of this ....I'll be thinking of you!!!!!

((Hugs))'Veronica

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Veron...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 11:38 AM

If I may add something...I reread your entry about being in kindergarden....He definitely is not getting one on one attention if he is in a classroom (I notice in your profile you homeschool, correct?  One more reason to act out....Please talk with his teachers....he should adjust eventually....

I'm still thinking of you....:)

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beaut...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 1:09 PM

Thank you! Yes i did homeschool until a week ago. I have a meeting with his teachers next friday but they say hes adjusting well. But when he comes home he has sooooo many complaints. I feel like i can't win sometimes! I was thinking that the problem was me being pregnant but does it really last this long? My goodness!

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Veron...
Nov. 13, 2010 at 1:50 PM

I don't know....But this is what I can tell you about some great advice I got from a couple whose Down Syndrome child died just a year ago at age 33.  She was not expected to live beyond age one....I only met her once when she came up to me many years ago before I got married....I was playing my guitar and she came over and bent down her ear to hear and feel the vibration of the strings coming from the hole....It was so innocent, so precious...Her Dad apologized. for bothering me......I said "No it's ok...., this is precious"......

The couple's advice was "Never give up"  .....This always helps me keep things in perspective when I'm thinking I want my punkin' to change for me.....NOW!!!  (I used to be a teacher, can you tell????)  :)   I delight in the little victories...and try to chill....I'm getting better at oit all the time.....I actually laugh out loud sometimes!!!!

Kids,  like it or not have their own timeline :) and :(       HeHeHe  .......:)

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