My four and 1/2 old son is in regular preschool and special ed. as well because of speech delay. He has been acting out lately and really pushing me. We went to BUrger King's play area the other day and he was taking drinks of chocolate milk and walking away, i thought well he is just drinking it. NO!!! He was not drinking it he was spitting it out over and over on the slide and some little girl landed in a huge puddle of chocolate milk compliments of my son. THen i took him to church last weekend and we are catholic so they have a Play area where you can watch mass and your kids at the same time. He got so out  of control screaming that i could not even take him to the bathroom to quiet him down, i just left. Any suggestions for me when you lose all control of your child in public places?!?! He is really challenging me lately. Help!! k in motown

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Nov. 13, 2010 at 9:59 PM

Hi Breastfeedermom!!!!!

I have had similar problems with my Down Syndrome child...except she is now 17.  I kept her out of the public for a while because it was so difficult....but now I am introducing her back again....

This is what I've done about fast food places (real restaurants are out of the question for now...too much silverware banging.....)    I was taking her in...and if she started carrying on once we got our food...we left with our food to go.....(like banging her soda cup on the table....going up and smooching/shlurping an old man on his cheek...He was NOT smiling...Neither was I....I was babbling and apologizing all over the place....Sooooo ....This how I handle this situation ..If we haven't ordered yet. and she acts up at the counter..Too bad -We go home......
Eventually she got the message!!!! (.I even sat out in 100 degree heat to show her we weren't going to stay.....but I was hungry NOW...and I was not going to let her behavior stop ME!!!!   She had the choice of eating like me or waiting until she got home...)

I am Catholic also and take her to church where we can be in a cry room-Saturday evening(-I go alone on Sunday morning to play guitar in a choir) ....We usually have the room to ourselves and I turn the light off....I couldn't do that today....She was ok until the little babies started make legitimate noise and she just went downhill...We hadn't been there in a long time, either....but when we are I say the mass parts loud enough to show people my intent is to be there to hear mass....This room will NOT be Romper Room if I can help it!!!!

So...This is what I have concluded..:  

There has to be a routine and I need to stick to it...She needs to SEE that I will stick to it.....I refuse to leave....My child has to keep doing things as church...It should be an every week. routine...We watch EWTN mass daily and I insist she behave at home, also...That is one solution for me...

Since we haven't been to Saturday mass for a while I let her have a special sandwich today that we bought at the drive through after church.... but if the shrieking, even in delight happens again next week...NO SANDWICH!!!!!!   There has to be a reward for good behavior and a privelege taken away for bad behavior.....Now matter how much she kicks and screams...I try to keep silent -NO RADIO and just drive straight home....She eventually breaks down and starts crying and then I know Ive gotten through to her.  At this point I  can talk softly about good behavior and that I still love her very much....(.I really don't have a guilty drop of blood in my body because I used to be a teacher....HeHeHe...) 

My suggestion would be to try to take him back in at church after he calms down..and maybe give him something related to church that will keep him crayons and a picture of Jesus to color, something silent that he likes...I've never done this....but it might work.....Maybe he's getting too stimulated by the other kids....especially if it is like romper room....  Perhaps he might do better in the very back pew....depending on the length of mass=which at this point is maybe too long for him..but in time will not be.., plus whether or not he likes the music...Yes, for daughter hated Latin on EWTN until it became part of her routine and can't stand me singing.either!!!!!)...soft Grrr....You are close to the door to remove him for a while if need be....It's worth a try...I want to do that with mine when she is ready....sit out with the people....maybe with the wild 12:00 Mexican mass in Spanish  :)  !!!!!

To conclude:  Always remember the power of a touch , a whisper in your child's ear, a hug and a compliment when it is deserved...Works wonders!!!!

Good luck and God bless!!!!!



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