I only saw a brief description on netflix and it seemed like an uplifting movie about a little boy who writes to God. I guess being so used to Hollywood movies I expected a happy ending.  So at first it seemed like things were going to be ok and then they kept getting worse. They kept talking about God and somehow it managed to be uplifting and heartbreaking at the same time.

So now I'm still up crying and probably not going to be able to sleep. My dd is in the special ed class and she rides the bus to school. one of the little girls Celeste that rides her bus and is in school with her too has brain cancer and is in st. judes.

She just lost her momma last month and then a week and a half later she fell and hit her head and they found out she has a brain tumor. She is such a sweet little girl always tried to play with my dd even though she didn't really acknowledge her. One time she tried to get off the bus with Christine (my dd) I said maybe you'll come and play later but now she might not get a later.

I didn't know what happened and i asked the bus aid where Christine's bus buddy  was and then she told me. I just feel so bad for her losing her momma and finding cancer on top of everything else.  Someone posted on a page about the family and they said they could feel God working in that family and I thought how by making them miserable.

I want to believe sometimes but then really horrible things happen to me or i see things like this movie or the little girl in my dd's class and it's so hard. We lost our home to a fire while i was in labor with my son after that i had complications and almost died. Almost three weeks later i was released and had no home to go too. This was almost three years ago and we have a place to live but since then our place is much smaller, i was diagnosed with ra and we are barely getting by. I guess I just don't see God in that.

I don't know I'm rambling it's been raining so a bad day pain wise and i haven't been sleeping lately so I'll just leave this here. Thanks for reading this if you got that far and please no bashing.

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Nov. 16, 2010 at 12:26 AM

I have felt the same way you are currently feeling in the past. I questioned God and asked why all the time, with everything that was going wrong in my life and the lives of others around me, I could not believe that God was as loving of a God as everyone made Him out to be, however I have learned that God uses our Trials, one to test us, but usually something good comes out of our trials, he uses our trials so that we are able to help others down the road from what we have gone through. We can become an encouragment to others. I know it is hard to make sense out of it, but if you can just pray about it. Ask God to reveal himself to you, when your praying be honest and say if you are really God show me and then be open and watch cause he will. This life is filled with so much pain, it is part of the end times and unfortunantly it is only going to get worse. Satan also wants nothing more then to cause you to think twice about weather God is real or not, so during your trials satan will cause your thoughts to go to bad places, causes you to believe even less.

I am really sorry for what you have gone through. If I can help in any way please let me know. I have also been diagnosed with some serious health issues and I am only 25, but God has proved to me that He loves me and I will be praying that he will do the same for you. Lean on Him during your hard times and pray, and He will reveal himself to you. Hope this helps. God Bless

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