I have spent years contemplating motherhood. I have wanted it for quite some time now. At The age of 21, I had surgery on my ovaries to remove growths. My surgeon/Gyn told me that, should it come back, I may have to have my reproduction organs removed. So far, I am in the green. I have been for over 3 years. In those three years, I have wanted to try and conceive a child just to see if i could. But thats not a good reason to do it, so i didnt. I am 25 now. The yearning for a child is stronger than ever. I know that there are no set ages for having a child but, i feel at times that i should have atleast one by now. I am totally ready. In almost every way. Then he comes along.

 A man who from the day i met him online, irritated the life out of me. Although he annoyed me, i felt compelled to reply each and every time. We have been chatting on the internet and on the phone for 2 years now. With each month that passed, i began to see deeper. Hes not so annoying after all. We becae really good friends until early this summer. He had already told me  from the beginning that he liked me. So I wonder if that makes a difference. But, I have completely fallen for him. He is like a painting to me. A beautiful, mysterious work of art. I crazy for him. He was the only man that i didnt have to convince myself that i had feelings for. He tells me that I am beautiful, he accepts me for who I am. I dont want to go on talking about all the things i love about him. I hope you get the idea. There is always something that forces you to open your eyes.

This summer he almost got into a car pile up on the highway in New York City. I was so happy that he and no one else got hurt. I asked him how was he going to celebrate with hi good fortune. I expected to hear a response filled with recreational detail. He answered that he was going to go have a kid. My mouth dropped and i so didnt expect to hear that. Then he asks if i want to have his son. Was he reading my mind? I was so on the market to seek and find a man who would be a good candidate to have a child with.  I never answered. I changed the subject. I was afraid to say, "YES!" and sound like a crazed woman. It took me about a month to finally tell him that I would like to have a child with him. Now, Am I Crazy? We arent in a relationship. We have never met. Hes a friend of a friend. And he wants me to have his child. Wait! Am I Crazy?! He told me recently that he always thought about me having his kids. Am I wrong to feel flattered? Am I wrong to want more than that? Am I Wrong to want more of him? Am I Wrong to even want to have his baby?

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