First, I am just writing out my feelings. They might not make sense or condradict themselves. I don't care. I just don't have any one to talk to, and I have to get it all out.

Second, I don't care about my spelling, nor my grammer. Don't like it, leave.

Ok, so I left my husband in may. he was very verbally and mentally abusive to me. his parents already had our kids, because we were not able to give the kids any form of stability. i wasnt allowed to work and husband wouldnt hold a job.so i get away from him. i realized i love my best friend, and he loves me. so i move in with his mom in a different state. he is in the military and is deployed. i love him.

then i start getting feelings for a friends husband. they are seperating, eventually. she dont know about her husband and me. he knows about all her boyfriends. turns out, now he wants to have a future with me and i can see myself being happy with him. him and i talk all the time, he is planning on moving my way, and every time we are together, we sleep together. he says he loves me, and i know i love him.

my first love came back into my life recently. turns out he still loves me and i never stopped loving him. turns out he is fucking awesome in bed! he is in and out of jail and does drugs. i know i dont want this and all that drama and bullshit. but i love him.

my stbe best friend told me that he loves me and has wanted to get with me for a long time. i always had a secret crush on him and wondered what he would be like in bed. we talk alot and he is willing to pay for a bus ticket for me so i can visit him for a weekend.

a friend of mine from my past got ahold of me on facebook, and we exchanged numbers. we made plans to get together and catch up, but he up and moves across the country. he texts me asking if i would go visit him for a few weeks if he paid my way. he also told me that he wants to hook up and it does sound good, bt i know that i can't go all the way to boston without raising eyebrows. 

i know i sound like a whore. but really im not. all of them (except the last two) i love and know i could be happy with. i know which one loves me for me. i feel used and dirty though. i cry every night because all these guys. i am really confused, heart broken and alone. I have no one to talk to about any of this and i just needed to get it all out. 

if you have any thoughts (and please don't bash me, i do enough of that on my own), please offer them below. 

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Comments:

kkbird
Nov. 17, 2010 at 3:01 AM

Not bashing. its not my style.  Sounds like you have alot going on and you cant determine who to be with based on sex. You have to be true to yourself and if you are not going to carry on anything with this bestfriend thing then maybe you need to move out of his moms house.

friends hubby..."EVENTUALLY" spliting up and moving your way......WRONG!!!! don't even go there, that sounds like a rebound for him.

Jail bird is a zero..... in and out of jail and drugs but awesome in bed???? thats just dead wrong all together..... you'll be ending up in jail and drugs with him. Cut ties while you can.  

stbe best friend.... wonder how he is in bed???? whats that got to do with you trying to find stablilty and a loving atmosphere for getting your children back?

Boston???? yeah I'd say you'd raise an eyebrow or two to get on a bus for another guy AND  leave a women who opened up her home to you b/c of her son caring about you that he didn't want to see you out in the streets.

I am not saying STAY WHERE YOU ARE.... I am just saying romping around with these other potential "LOVES" and not being responsible, trying to be stable to get your children back with you just doesn't sound right.

I mean does your children ever think they with be with their mom again, cause if you go and do what seems exciting and fun to you now will only end up empty when the excitement wears off, then where are you going to be......alone again doll.*** please don't think i am being harsh, I would never do that... I am just trying to let you see the whole picture***   Hope this helps ..... do some soul searching and leave out the bedding.  take care  and always here if you want to chat one on one.

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harle...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 4:29 AM

you need to take a step back and take a breath and BREATHE!!! Sit down and make a list of what you are looking for in a man. If you ust have recently gotten seperated from your DH then you need a break. You are coming off a nasty relationship and you are reaching for the wrong support. Who is playing your feelings? Who isnt? Who says you need to make a decision now? You sound like you could use some counseling, professional that is.

From my experience, you are just rebelling right now. Like your paying back your ex for all the crap he did to you. You need to take time for yourself, and your children. Set a set of goals and dont worry about the sex or men. Its not worth your self worth. You need to set an example for your kids, who is the bigger parent?

Drugs? ARE YOU kidding me? in and out of jail and yet you dont want the drama and you are in love with him? YOU need to distinguish if it is love or infatuation. Its very hard to distinguish the two.

 NON Divorced hubby who "claims" he will divorce her blablabla? he is just lookng for a piece andhe knows how to play your feelings.

Your best friend, His mom and him opened up their/her/his house to you to help you get back on your feet. That is pretty awesome right there. They opened up their house to you and their hearts. If you do what I think your going to do, your going to lose him and his respect and you wont even have him as a friend.

get some counseling, get yourself on check and priorities in perspective. MEN are not a priority they are a commodity. Single womens motto. Bottom line, who do you think will really be there for you in the end? Drug boy?more than likely not, sounds lke he much rather be around the drugs.  Married boy who is with your friend? your "best" friend, whom thinks there might be a possibility between you two...

Make it easy for yourself, and choose non of the above. IF any of them actually give a crap about you, and you tell them they need to wait. See who is left standing. Bet it wont be drug guy, or married guy. So what if htey are good in bed, is that what is going to pay the bills? is that what is going to get your kids back? Honestly, you need some counseling.

Boston boy sounds like he is just looking for a piece until he gets someting in boston. NO GO there...

not passing judgement you asked what  you should do. so we are telling you our opinons as to what you should do. In the end, it is your decision and you know for sure what is at stake.

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