Mama lost her battle with cancer on November 10, 2010.  She struggled every day to do as much as that day would allow her to do until finally she could do no more.  Her last week was very graphic.  She lost her privacy, her dignity, and finally her functions, her independence, and finally her life.

Mama was a giver.  She gave to people in need.  She had grown up poor and suffered some abuse from both her parents and later her first husband.  She allowed that abuse to give her the strength to reach out to people.  She gave clothing, food, household goods, appliances, time, her blood when she was able, medicines, her hair, and then donated her body to science to keep on giving.

So far even though I was there to see her leave this world myself, it still hasn't really sunk in that she is truly gone physically.  I've had to make the arrangements for the memorial service, print the programs myself, take care of her bills and personal business and her belongings, and then deal with the people who were in her life, some of whom can be difficult.

I am still thankful that even though I had to watch her suffer knowing I couldn't stop her pain, I was there to hold her hand and give her the medications, clean her up, change her clothes and bedding, and tell her I loved her when she could still understand it.  The hospice workers were very kind and helpful.  I have a new appreciation for these people.

She did tell me she appreciated me and everything I did for her before it got so bad that she no longer was able to think clearly.  Thank you, Mama, and God.

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Comments:

pair-...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 10:29 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father November 23,2006[thanksgiving]. It has got easier but I  will never get over the fact he was sick. I pray somone finds a cure for cancer.

 I know they are both with The Lord looking down..

Your in my prayers and here if you would like to talk..hugs

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doll2660
Nov. 17, 2010 at 5:23 PM

I lost my mom 10  years ago. I understand very well. PM me if you need a shoulder. 

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Lb128f
Nov. 17, 2010 at 8:53 PM

I'm so sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

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bless...
Nov. 18, 2010 at 2:35 AM

I first off want to say I am sorry for your loss, I totally understand what you are going through.  I recently lost my mom Oct. 12, 2010 to stage 4 breast cancer.  She has been battling for 3 years and they said there was no cure for her kind so she just kept the fight up as long as she could until the meds started having hurtful side effects and just stopped working to a point. I as well got to see my mom transition within like two weeks from walking and talking to lying in bed not being able to talk but would smile or blink an eye if she heard you.  It is very hard to know my best friend is gone.  I have a almost 5 month old baby that she was able to meet and it makes me so sad that I will have to explain to him how awesome his grandma was.  I miss her so much right now just not being able to call her, since I called everyday on the norm.  I hope you find guidance and peace within through this time.  I have a wonderful dad and great brothers that have come together to cure the pain, but nothing will ever cure the loss feeling.  It is good to know they are in a better place with no more suffering and by our sides at all times, which I love knowing that.  If you ever want to chat or just need to vent you can always write me.. I love to talk about mom it helps the healing process.. May god bless you!!

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calydu
Nov. 18, 2010 at 10:15 AM

I am so sorry and will keep you in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.

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dawnj...
Nov. 18, 2010 at 4:04 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my father to lung cancer Sept. 9, 2010.  I too was there until the last breath.  I miss him terribly, but I know he is not suffering any longer.  

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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caitx...
Nov. 18, 2010 at 5:38 PM

:( So sorry for your loss. My husband lost his mom to ovarian cancer in October 2007.

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teric...
Nov. 22, 2010 at 12:10 AM

I am so sorry,

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