11/17/2010
.......6 at home tests and a bunch of abnormal emotions later I realize that I'm pregnant.

And alone.

I've always wanted a big family, like the one I was raised in. I always wanted the relationship my Mother and Stepfather had but I must have been looking too hard and passed up the guys who would have given me the life she has been blessed with.Now here I am, my little one on the way has a mother that is going to give it her best, and a heartless father in jail, for years and years at that... 

So I walk alone. Down the road I've familiarized myself with, the one I've always known so well. So much for alone though, my baby will be with me for years to come. So I'm going to have to work a lot harder, the nights might be a little less easy then they ought to be. I get creeped out on nights like these and all the trees are blowing things around, random brush and stuff hitting the side of the house with big booms, wind whistling a creepy tune, doors slamming and my imagination getting the very best of me.

It could just be the wind, but it could be other things too...

I wish I had done a better job and picking the paternal father... here I am 21 years old, and ready to raise a baby. I believe to be 2 months pregnant, but I'm not sure yet. Doctors apt. this week, whoa! I'm excited and nervous and still slightly unsure about what I want to do. Or how to do it...  Alone is my only option I believe.

 


Lulumommi~

 

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Comments:

MrsFa...
Nov. 18, 2010 at 4:24 AM

First off, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Secondly, you sound like a very strong woman and I'm sure you will be a great mother and father to your baby. You'd be amazed what we can adapt to when put in the position of having to. Good luck to you.

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lulum...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 9:31 AM

She's a little over 3 1/2 months now and life is still a struggle, 2,000 miles away from "home" from my family. But the moment that little angel was put in my arms everything seemed to be coated with a layer of something I cannot describe. Even a bad day isn't quite so bad anymore :) 

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