I am not the kind of person to whine about my life, I just live every day to the fullest and take what hurdles come about, I roll with the saying that we can only change the things we can control. My brother just sent me the nastiest email regarding why I won't go to my mom's house and get it ready for her to die. Well, I just did this in April for my father and that lead to me getting an illness that I am stuck with, since I didn't seek medical attention when I should have, My relationship has more than enough problems (you would need to read some of my other journals for that one), and I have 2 kids...

I understand people have issues, I just don't appreciate it when they try to push them on me..why can't he just step up and do it! I already ran this race...

The only positive of my mothers passing soon is no contact with this guy and I never had any in my 40 years anyway, so it isn't much of a loss...

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Nov. 18, 2010 at 9:08 AM

I'm really sorry about what's going on.  My brother died about 4 years ago, and I naively thought that this might bring my family together, which has been split since my dad left my mom after 40 years and married his secretary.  Don't get me wrong, my mom is sort of a basket case, and it was the best thing for him to do.  But anyway, what I learned is that the death of my brother really brought out the worst in everyone.  My family just is not equipped or educated to deal with trauma and crisis with grace.  Old and new issues popped up, when everyone's emotions were at the surface.  it's pretty clear that your brother's animosity has nothing to do with you.  He just can't handle the loss of his mom, and you happened to be in the line of fire.  I know it doesn't feel good, especially when you have so much other crap to deal with- but your right about people pushing their issues on you.  Again, I'm sorry you're going through the stress of the situation, but take care of yourself- you are your only advocate, no one else will stand up for you- so do what you need to do, and feel ok about it.  I wish you the best.

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Nov. 18, 2010 at 9:25 AM


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