An array of rude awakenings has occured on this (insert bad word here) morning. I will list the following in the attempt to vent my feelings as well as organized the events that took place properly in my brain. 

*Please note that I would never actual DO the things I have mentioned in below statements. Just normal sleepy craziness.
4:55am- a bright light races into my once warm and comfortable bedroom. It takes a jack hammer like object to my eyelids and succeeds to break through. I squint in pain and blindly stair at the ceiling to make sense of the issue.
4:56am- My brain is grasping at reality and dreamland as I continue to squint and rub my still very sleepy eyes. It's not until later that I realize the importance of this action. Without warning, I recieve a sudden and strong blow to my forehead and eye socket region. Already in a daze, I stay very still. "What is happening" I think to myself. Mr. Sherry then proceeds to sloppily rub my head and apologize. He hit me? Mr. Sherry shouts out a very loud  "Who's there?" I hear a much older senior sound in his voice. I think to myself..."Intruder?", "no, that's silly-wake up"
4:57am- No one answers but the light remains as intrusive as before. I begin to sit up and argue with inner self that urinating is a task that I can perform at such a time. Mr. Sherry grabs my arm "What is going on?". I stop and focus.........."I don't know" I mumble and shrug and then proceed to stumble into my bathroom while shutting the door behind me.
4:59am- I walk back into my room which is suddenly filled with blackness once again. I stop and wonder if it was a dream. I shrug again and make an effort to crawl back into the once familiar warm spot that I had created with previous hours of effort. A small boney mass of silky soft skin and fleece has replaced my well earned warmness.
4:50am- "Hi Mommy!!!" Abigail Sherry whispers and sits up. I grunt and push her body towards the man creature in the bed. And, reclaim half of the spot that I know is rightfully mine but do not have the strength to take back. Back to sleep I fall.
5:42am- I feel an intense sharp pain in my right outer thigh region. The pain wont go away and remains just as strong and consistent. I reach down and feel a toddler size 10 pushed so far into my extremity that it may need to be removed surgically. I push on the small ankle to attempt a manual at home try. This awakes what appears to be a small innocent presents but the true form amerges and swimgs her posessed head into my right temple. I cringe and growl and aggresively rip my pillow from my bed and march to the cold leather unwelcoming couch in the living room.
6:15am- "bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam" I blink and snarl all at once trying to make sense of the familiar sound. I realize it's the 2 year old doing his traditional fall down the stairs. I think to myself- If I stay still, he wont see me.
6:16am- I am poked, prodded, pinched, kicked, kneed and drooled on in a matter of seconds. I consider crying.
6:17am- I leave the small abusive subject in the living room with a squeeky red puppet babysitter on large glowing device.
6:18am- I return to 8inches of now cold space on my once lovely bed. I close my eyes and pray for at least another 20 minutes.
6:30am- My alarm rudely and suddenly much louder than I've ever remembered blares Brooks and Dunn's "Boot scoot and boogie" My entire face tightens. I could write another story of the amount of hatred and disgust I have towards this terribly written song! But, I will save you the anger that will inevitably come from that novel. And, it WILL be a novel.
6:40am- I climb the mountain to the two older sleepy subjects. I get to the stop of the stairs and feel resentful and angry with them suddenly. They weren't attacked, they weren't cold. They haven't been up for the last 2 hours!!!! But, then I think- it's not their fault that the Sherry region of the home at the bottom of the mountain are a group of rude, troubled sleepers!
6:45am- I grab two large sticky over glazed donuts and plop them on a tiny plastic plate and stumble to the recliner to join the 2 year old. While watching this very popular red puppet character. I begin to think of who the voice over is. Is it a machine? How can anyone sound this way. Then I begin to discuss with inner self the bad horrible unmentionable things I would like to do to this said voice over.
7:08am- I climb into the several ton vehicle  with my two very calm and quiet older offsprings. I think for a second..."they are my favorite, unlike the other two beasts that remain inside the house with the older beast.
7:10am- I arrive at the school. It's abandoned. The normal flurry of vehicles, overweight or awkwardly dressed children and overly excited PTA members are absent. This can't be right. I stare at my clock in the car and threaten to have it murdered if it's not being truthful with the time. I circle the dark and quiet school. I stop and think of one particular PTA member that I avoid like the plague. I imagine her sleeping in a large, soft and warm bed and then immediate violent and gruesome thoughts enter my brain.
7:15am- I continue to circle. Still, nothing.
7:18am- A car!!!! A women parks and heads toward the building. I open my window and ask if I'm living in a twilight zone. She zombie like answers, "there is no school today"
8:00am- I sit here with my 3RD CUP of coffee still extremely bitter of the morning happenings.
How is your day going?

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