Vicky's Journal

Ramblings from my dark side

After moving and getting the kids enrolled in school and finding out it was to late for me to enroll in the fall semester, I began looking for a job. After two years of looking in California, I was able to secure a position at a temp service working at a distribution warehouse for the largest online retailer. It pays very very well and we were excited that we would be able to dig ourselves out of our hole.

So I start work and on my Thursday, I got home went to bed while my hubs went to pick our oldest up from a school function when the car died. Because I missed a day during my "training" week, my assignment was cancelled. No job. The good news was I was able to restart a new assignment the following week. So the car was fixed and I went back to work. The department I was put into was in the hottest area of the warehouse and although the work was easy it was also physically demanding. On my feet for 10+ hours a day. Lifting boxes and product, etc...

So on Monday I go to work and begin to climb the stairs to the third floor when my chest begins to hurt. Now this does not cause a lot of alarm due to the fact that I have a slightly enlarged heart because of high blood pressure. The problem was that as the day went on, I continued to have trouble catching my breath. Finally at about an hour before the end of my shift it got so bad I got light headed and said something to my area manager. They called the on site medics and was sent home with the promise I wouldn't loose my job. The catch was I had to have a doctor sign off of my return.

I got home and off to the ER my hubs and I (with the kids) went. Because of my diabetes, high blood pressure, enlarged heart, thyroid condition, depression, etc. they kept me in the coronary ER overnight and ran a ton of tests, including a stress test. They discovered what was possibly a blockage in one of my arteries and an angioplasty was ordered. Basically they wanted to insert a catheter with a camera into my femoral artery and thread it up to my heart to see if there was a blockage and if there was then they would put in a stent to open it up. They don't even call it a surgery just a procedure. Scary nonetheless.

Bottom line, there is no blockage and the doctor has released me to return to work asap.

Now, I have absolutely no insurance and I have no idea how we are going to pay for this and I had told my hubs from the beginning that I would walk out of the ER and find a different job. Then I joked that it would be cheaper to bury me than to pay for the gazillion tests they ran plus my stay. I thought he'd club me over the head!!!

He got so mad at my feeble little joke, yelled that it didn't matter how much the bill would be because he couldn't live without me!! And what about the kids?! He totally freaked out! For two days during my stay, he paced and dealt with the kids and looked like he was about to loose his own life.

He brought me home yesterday and would not allow me to eat anything salty or chocolate. He told me that the last oreos were off limits to me as is most of what we have in the house. He says he's going shopping today to pick up tons of fruits and vegetables for me so I can get healthy. He even says I'm only allowed one cup of coffee a day!

It's annoying but I sooo appreciate it. He doesn't want to loose me. Oh, he'd survive if he did, but he doesn't want to have to face it. But then again, who does???  The love he showed the past couple of days is so much more than I ever thought he had for me. He's the "tough" guy and doesn't show emotion that much so to know the depth of his love is such a gift to me. 

The moral of this story, don't ever think he doesn't love me more than his own life. Just like I love him.

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