Mothers Intuition is of greater value then a Dr.'s experience.

I want to share with you our story. I hope you read this and learn from my mistakes as a mother. I hope this never happens to you, but that you are aware it happens to 1 out of every 48 mothers every single day. Thats 1 child in every 2 classrooms a day will go through what I am about to share with you. And I advise you to become aware. If you are that 1 in 48; it could save your childs life. 

I was on my way to class at the local college one day this last February. It was an evening class and my husband was working late. So I had my friend drop me off and my father stay with my kids. Before I left that faitful night  I kissed my then 2 year old sons forehead and was off. When I returned that night I noticed a bruise over his right eye that was not there just 2 hrs before. I asked my father if he hit his head while I was gone. But he said he never saw him do it. He did hear him cry in the back room when he awoke from his late nap. But he came out and climbed in his lap until he fell back asleep. He thought it was entirely possible.I had wondered why he was sleeping so much. But I brushed it off as a need for growing.

A week Later his eye was completely back and green and sticking out a little from so much swelling. It never looked like it was healing. He had developed a runny nose and had been sleeping all the time. He started throwing up and wanted less and less food each day. I took him to the emergency clinic and they diagnosed it as allergies. And said its normal for an eye to still be bruising 8 days later. I thought that was odd, but I'm no dr. right? So I took his diagnosis to heart and started his antibiotics. (never distrust your mothers intuition)

The next day I was studying and stroking his hair as I do several times a day every single day. I thought it felt funny so I looked closer to investigate. He had what looked like a marble under his skin where his temple should be. I'm no Dr. but I know your temple isn't supposed to stick out. He needed a hair cut so I hadn't seen it earlier. I wondered how long its been there. No longer then a few hours for sure tho. I had rubbed his head the night before and definantly would have noticed.

Like any of you would, I got scared and called my husband from work. I picked him up and together we rushed him to the E.R. There they immedeatly asked what happened to his eye and began the round of trick questions and grilling. They insisted we abused him. Finally they whent to get a second opinion as is protocal before they call the police and cps. But the second Dr. told the first Dr. it was obviously a lymph node from allergies. Going with what the previous diagnosis was. I shyly asked if they would draw some blood as he had been bruising so much, but they said that it wasn't necessary and that children rarely have anything serious wrong with them. (this coming from an e.r.) I was shy because I was afraid anything would lead them to thinking I was abusive again. So even though I wished they would do an x-ray or something I kept my mouth shut out of fear. But something just didn't feel right. Who am I to argue with a Dr.?As we where leaving the nurse asked us if he would let her get his vital signs or if he would put up a fight. I replied, "I think he will. He's been pretty submissive lately." Not thinking of my choice of words. She replied, "Her let me BEAT this machine around a little and see if I can get it to be submissive too!" I was so insulted. Especially since he had a diagnosis and it wasn't abuse. And that I DON'T ABUSE MY CHILDREN. How dare she. But we kept quite for fear of showing any anger.


So over the next week he got worse and worse. He started crying, "my tummy" over and over. And he quite eating all together. After days of nothing to eat my husband and I lost our patience and yelled at him. We thought he was confused about where the pain was. That he meant his eye. And I forced him to eat half a jello cup. I litterally pushed it in his mouth and held his mouth closed until he swolled. We had no insurance as this was my last semester before graduation and i wanted to wait and get the good benefits with my new degree. So talked with my husband about taking out of our savings to go to another Dr. A family Dr. this time. We already spent hundreds on his last 2 visits. We decided we'd go one more time. Get one more opinion. Just one more Dr. to tell me he's fine, its just allergies and I would allow myself to relax.

When It was finally the day of our appointment I got out of my early classes and took him before my evening class. I got there and people in the waiting room started walking up to me one by one to tell me they are praying for my son. I should have known right then something was seriously wrong. Once we where called back the nurse looked at him and ran out yelling for the Dr. He came in and asked what happend to his head. I explained the whole story. he walked out. When he returned he gave me back my money and told me to rush him to the Childrens hospital 30 min away. That he was calling ahead to tell them we where coming. I took my son and picked up my husband and dropped my daughter off at my fathers down the street. As we where getting gas so we could make the drive the Dr. called me back asking if we could come back to his office. He didn't feel comfortable letting us drive him and wanted an ambulance to drive us. My heart felt like it was going to choke me. We rushed back and the ambulance was there waiting. The whole ride the emt was repeating those trick questions swearing up and down he hit his head even tho I told him I don't really know for sure that he did. Trying to get me to say I saw him do it, to catch me in a lie, to lie about the dates of everything. Confusing me. Then he checked my sons blood counts and gave the driver a signal that caused them to turn on the lights and go faster then my husband could keep up. He put in an i.v. and when we arrived I heard him telling a nurse he had half his blood volume. That they suspect he's bleeding in his head. I was freaked. (how wrong they where)

The nurses began they're own twenty questions and seperated my husband and I. I knew they where thinking abuse. I started crying begging them to please just look at him. To please stop talking to us and just help him. Once he's ok they can do whatever they want to me. They rushed him into a c.t. and when they started coming back in they lined up sympathetically. They wouldn't tell us anything until a Dr. got there. Then a big black man with large capable hands, good strong Dr. hands came in. He said they found 2 masses. One in his head and one in his abdomen. He started to ramble on but my husband and I looked at eachother perplexed. My husband stopped him and said, "I don't understand. What are you saying?" And he looked down at his own feet and replied, "I'm saying your son has cancer." We just lost it. We began a type of crying that sounded more like gurgling and choking sound. I calapsed into my husbands arms and he into mine and we couldn't keep eachother up. As we began to fall the Dr. grabbed us with his strong and caring hands and held us. He sat us down and knelt in front of us. He told us before anything else that it was not our fault. There was nothing we did to cause this, there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it. That we did everything right. Had he not came in he would not have lived another 5 days. That they would do everything in they're power to heal him. I asked the one burning question I knew was weighing on my husbands heart as well. "What are his chances? Is he going to die?" They gave us an honest 15% chance of survivng the next 5 years. 

You must knwo that now my son is now in the last half of treatments and things are getting better. We believe he has a real chance at living the rest of his life out as he would had he not had cancer. But that another family from our home town was not so lucky. That months later a nurse informed me of a 6 year old boy found dead in his room of cancer after the hospital sent him home from the e.r. stating he was fine. That poor mother trusted the Dr.'s and for whatever reason, maybe the same as mine decided they knew better and didn't go for that third opinion.

The point in this story is to tell you of the importance in trusting your own maternal instincts. That even though it should be perpostrous for you to need one, you must be willing to get a 3rd opinion if you feel its necessary.

If I could take it all back and try it again I would have demanded they tested his blood counts. That they do something without fear or hesitation. Then they would have found out a week sooner and he may not have been stage 4 yet. That he may have had a better statistic. A better chance at living. Dr.'s don't know more then you.

I can't go back. But you can. YOU are your childs advocate. You are the only one who knows where to look. Whats out of place, that something is indeed wrong when no one else can see it. You can demand testing. Or take him/her somewhere else that will.

*more children die of childhood cancer then childhood aids, diabetes, and asthma combined.

*7 children on average die each day of cancer.

*of the government funding for cancer: Breast cancer gets 12%, prostate cancer gets 7%, and ALL of the many childhood cancers get less then 3%.

* there are no childhood cancer treatments. They only have adult cancer treatments to give in smaller doses. And most of them don't work for childhood cancer because its different. Some of wich is restricted to only being in childhood.

There is a great need for awareness. We are currently trying to get Oprah to do a show on it in her last year. And the more people know, the more people supporting it, the more funding it will recieve. Yes, its a depressing issue, but its only because no one will recognise it. once its acknowledged as a probelem is when it can start to recieve the proper amount of funding and research. Only then will there be new treatments and life saving cures. Only then will it no longer be such a depressing issue.

More then 200 celebrities are tweeting about it to get Oprah to do it. And we are forever greatful. please join this cause and many others in fighting childhood cancer and bringing awareness. Check out this Face book page and many others. Just by joining gives it more strength. For the strength in this site is its numbers. The more people who support it, to more appealing it will become to Oprah. If on her show all of her millions and possibly billions of fans will be made aware.

Like when Leonardo De'caprio raised awareness for childhood aids. They now recieve more funding then Childhood cancer. If it worked for aids, it can work for cancer.

Please make this popular so more people can become aware. More people can help fight for this cause. that act alone will be helping our cause.


http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/Oprah4KidsCancer




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