So my cousin lost her child father almost two weeks ago and I have been there for her calling and checking on her and hopping up as soon as she calls. It so sad to think about that because it touches me so deep. It makes me think of when my son dad was killed. I have never gotten over that and just to go to the hospital to show her support brought back all of those deep feelings. I guess when I went to the hospital to support her I was not prepared to here them say he did not make it and I kind of felt lost once again. So, lately I have just been thinking about my life. All the men I loved have been taken out of my life one way or another and I took it as God was trying to tell me to wake up and worry about myself and my boys so that is what I have been doing but every so often I still think about the past. I am just hoping that God grabs my hand and walk with me because this is going to be a long journey. I can just feel it.

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