So my fiances babies mothers husband is re-enlisting in the army. Their custudy schedule is nine kinds of messed up. So he gets him abour 33 percent of the time. (Which I'm not happy about) Since they are re-enlisting he is getting stationed other then where we reside. Custody order states that one cannot move out of the same town with the child.. ECT..

Well they are moving to Cherry Point, NC. Should we take them back to court. Quite frankly we do not have the money nor do we have resources to do so.

I think we will just end up moving out to New Bern and forget about going to court. But does it make me crazy to want to drop everything and leave. My job, school, friends, to make sure I'm with the people I love & care about. We have three months to find a house, save enough money for it. Find jobs and so forth.

I need input. I'm entirely too lost to deal on my own. And he is just babbling on about how he won't choose between me and his son. I'M NOT MAKING HIM CHOOSE! I WANNA GO WITH HIM!

Add A Comment


Nov. 22, 2010 at 12:30 AM

i would take them back to court if  they r the ones breaking the order u cant jump just cuz the bms saud so that isnt fair to u and any other childern u might have

Message Friend Invite

Nov. 22, 2010 at 1:03 AM

You can always show the order of visitation to the commanding officer.  That should set things straight.  Or just call the family court and let them know what's happening.  

Message Friend Invite

Nov. 22, 2010 at 3:37 PM

It seems to me that you would have a lot more options and power in this situation if you and your fiance' were already married, and you did not say if the mother of the child is married or not so I am just guessing that she is not. It really seems that it would be in your best interest to get married and that would give you and your fiance more rights with this child in the court's eyes and perhaps you would be seen as the more stable influence in his life if/when custody battle happens again.

On a personal note, I would like to acknowledge how difficult it must be to be in your situation and say that I don't think I could stand by and have my life put on hold while two other people decide what they are doing about their child. You obviously love this man. You mentioned that he makes comments about him having to choose between you and his son. In my husband's life he and I are each other's priority and our children are just the bonus.  We love them and would die for them and if I ever found out that my husband was hurting them in any way I would kill him, but I love him more than I love them and that is how a marriage should be.  If a husband and wife don't make each other their first priority then they most certainly are headed for divorce or at the very least a lifetime of misery and unhappiness on one or both of their parts.  I'm certainly not saying he should make you a queen and leave his son behind and never contact him again, but it does not seem that he is really thinking about your future as a couple, but as just "his" future. It took me quite a while to think of my marriage in terms of "we" instead of "I".We are SHARING A LIFE.  Is he sharing his with you or just doing what he wants and having the bonus of you along for the ride?  Does he share your dreams, what ARE your dreams?  What would he do if you said you were moving to China? Would he be doing all he could to figure out how to rearrange his life to fit your's?  If you were the one with a son or daughter, would he be stressing and worrying and doing all of this emotional work (like you are).

Good luck to you..

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in