So this mornign my husband informs me that he has to work, couldn't have told me earlier so that I could find a babysitter, NOOO that would be too nice of him. So instead of going to class and meeting with my advisor so that I could get spring classes set up, I'm stuck at home with the kids.

My son's rash still hasn't healed up, it itches him and keeps not only him but me awake at night as well. We've tried EVERYTHING to help that poor boy out. Don't know what caused it, don't know how to get rid of it. Took him to the pedi today, she don't know what's wrong with him. But I got an appointment with a dermentologist tomorrow.

Today the insurance people called wanting to send an adjustor out to the house to look at the car and see all the damages done when some guy hit it last week. So instead of driving myself and my son to the doctor, I had to find a ride.

Found out that my mail carrier didn't get my foodstamp recert in to social services. We've been relying on the kindness of my father for help with feeding our kids. I know, breastfeeding mom needs to eat too, but I've got 4 other mouths besides mine and the baby's to feed. I'll let my body drain the nutrients from itself before allowing my kids to go hungry. Plus the baby is eating solids now so she can eat pureed (not sure on spelling, but I'm tired and don't care) table food with the others. Had to go all the way up to social services to fill out another form, found out the kids' medicaid app didn't come in either, so filled one of those out.

Dad had to help us out with alot this month. Food, and rent mostly. Well, rent alot. Seems my husband hadn't been paying it right, and we were $1,000 behind and they were kicking us out within the week. He didn't tell me that they had already taken him to court over the money. Dad sent us the money to help keep a roof over our heads. My brother came over this weekend (trust me, it ties in) because they didn't have any food over at his and my mom's house. We had extra so we told him to come over. He tells my dad. Dad blows up and says that I lied about being kicked out and needing food just to have money to do stuff for my brother and whoever else I wanted to entertain. Him and my grandmother tells me that I can forget getting Christmas for my kids (they both had said previously 'we know how much you hate having others help you get gifts for your kids, especially strangers since ya'll can't get gifts yourselves don't apply for help this year, we'll help you out' so I didn't apply for help) I can forget about asking for appliances to help out with my future job. Hell, I can forget about even APPLYING for the job since they were going to tell my future employer not to hire me since I'm " not trustworthy".

My brother gets mad at me for some reason, he WAS going to take me to take my son to the doctor to find out what's wrong with him. Now he won't. Had to beg and plead with my friends to find someone to help me out. Even then I have to pay her $10 that I don't have. Oh well I guess, my son's health comes first. We'll figure something out. I don't think I've spent more than 10 minutes not crying today. I nearly sent myself to the hospital because I started having a panic attack when my mom told me to tell my father that everything was my fault even though it was a simple misunderstanding between him and my brother.

I'll be thanksful this year if just once, everything goes according to plan. If my foodstamps come in, the kids recert goes through, and I can get away from the family once and for all I'll be happy. Hell, I can go to the dollar tree and get gifts for a dollar if I have to. My kids will have something to open on Christmas morning, even if it's a candy bar from the grocery store.

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