My daughter sees you staring at her legs. She sees that look of pity. Makes me laugh because I know if you just asked her instead of staring, she would gladly tell you all about them. She has no shame. She wears braces and will tell you they make her be able to walk without falling. She can go to gym class in school and run with her classmates without coming home with so many cuts and bruises from falling. She can take my hands and dance around the house. She dreams of being a ballerina. And now because of the braces you look at with pity in your eyes, her dream is closer than ever. She sees the aggrevation on your face because she talks so quietly and so unclear. When she sees that look, if you would give her the chance, she would hug you and say loud and clear "I love you." She knows she has a speech delay. She comes home from speech therapy telling me a story using words she never knew before. And she's proud of it. Even if she messes up. She knows she's not mentally were her peers are. And she's okay with that. None of her disabilities have ever slowed this little girl down. From the 2 pounds newborn she was to the 31 pound 5 year she is now, she has overcome everything doctors said she'd never do. She knows compared to others her age, she is tiny. She also knows she can find better hiding places than the other kids.

My son knows you are staring when he is having a meltdown thinking that his mom can't control him. He knows you don't understand. But boy would he explain it to you if you asked him. If you took a minute to ask him what was wrong, he would tell you he's not sure. He is forever trying so hard to be good. (Although I tell him after his metldown that I understand while rocking him wiping tears off his face, he knows he's different.) He would tell you that it kills him when he gets over excited or over upset and bites or hits someone else. But he's not sure how to control it right now. (If you truly look into his hazel eyes after he did it, you would see exactly what I mean.) He would  sing you a song from one of his favorite movies or shows, and he will sing it word for word to you. Even if he's only heard it a couple of times. (But he can't tell you his colors or numbers no matter how much we work on it.) He has gone from my 1 pound mini hero to my 30 pound superhero. He is truly one amazing little boy. (By the way, he is being tested for autism.)

As their mother, I see you look at me like I am doing everything wrong. I know you think I can't handel my son because he acts out. I know it runs through some minds if my daughter is abused because she can be so quiet and withdrawn. But if you took the time to be understanding, you would see things are just different in my family than in yours. My children may not mentally and physically be perfect. (Even though to me they are.) But they are still children. They deserve what every human being deserves in life. Love, compassion, understanding and acceptance. (They give so much of all of those to everyone they meet. Is it that hard to give them a little back?) If you can't do that than that's fine too. Just don't get offended when we look back at you with that same level of pity. You are missing out on some wonderful children. They will teach you a thing or two about life before you teach them.

Add A Comment

Comments:

Roisin07
Nov. 23, 2010 at 3:34 PM

you rock

Message Friend Invite

Veron...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 3:54 PM

You express yourself so beautifully...You already know the treasures that are in your life.. You are blessed....

Share them any chance you get!!!! We as moms of Special Needs children have the most wonderful opportunities to be ambassadors for our children....

May we always proudly smile and share our children, whatever way we can with the community....We all belong....and their contributions can be counted as equal to any other one...

Veronica, mother to a beautiful Down Syndrome child named Gracie...

Message Friend Invite

SLGIRL
Nov. 23, 2010 at 4:16 PM

Beautifully put.  I know exactly what you mean, because people look at my daughter the same way.  All children are beautiful & contribute to the world in their own way.

Message Friend Invite

Never...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 8:04 PM

I too have had people glare at me because of my son.  He looks 'normal" but has a genetic condition that makes him slower than the "average" child.  He also has speech therapy and cannot always communicate his wants or needs.  The ignorance of some people amazes me, just ask, don't stare.  Staring isn't polite and it pisses me off!!

Message Friend Invite

butte...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 7:48 AM

Thank you I two deal with stares when my three specail needs angel melt down  we have been to so many specails my hed spins  some lady told me I need to keep control them  my angels also have a two rare disorders I deal with it everyday. people need to understand and not judge, my angels are all under 60 pds. good luck.

Message Friend Invite

Angel...
Nov. 24, 2010 at 6:44 PM

Thank you everyone. It's comforting to know I am not alone in this fight for our children. All I live for is for them to find their place in this world. The place they so desperately try to find everyday. Even though they are confident enough to be able to talk to people about their problems, the stares get to them eventually. I just wish people would understand things like that.

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in