dh and i are fighting AGAIN today, it seems like its an never ending battle with him. I am begining to pull away. i told a coworker yesterday that i feel that dh is a live in roomate or a glorified babysitter. I didnt even feel guilty when i said it and i should have. we have been together for almost 3 years now and in feb we will be married for a year, i know, going down the drain already. him and i are constantly fighing, today DD went into her room and covered her ears i started crying because i knew she didnt want to her us anymore but im at my wits end. i feel he doesnt use his head,and he is being lazy, he gives me excuses all the time that are unexceptable. here is what we were fighting over this morning. I got on the computer to check facebook and of coarse cafe mom, i replied to a post on cafe mom and walked away from the computer to get the other things that needed to be done for the day (dishes and the laundry to the laundry room so i could do it) he ask me if i was done with the computer i told him ya, he came over and started a game. in the meantime i have sit back down because we had a while to get DS out to the bus at 1130. at 1120 i asked DH who was taking ds out to the bus, he said he would. 1130 ds still isnt ready for the bus, i was dealing with dd and doing other things, i got upset at him because the night before we just had the arugument that the reason the kids dont listen to him is because he doesnt re inforce the rules and he lets them slide and they do whatever they want, it makes it harder on me because they push me and try and get away with things that they know they need to do. he was doing it AGAIN this morning, DS does not know the time, it is up to us or whoever is getting him ready in the morning to remind him to get ready for the bus so he is ready for it at 1130. DH said it wasnt a big deal and that i was over reacting, i got ferious at that point, and i basically called him a lazy brainless 2 year old. no it wouldnt have been a big deal if something came up and we were running behind,but because things were going smoothly just like they do every other day he felt it was ok to slack off. so i asked him what if ds missed the bus because the damn computer was to god damn improtant to him and he said i would have drove him to school. i wanted to bang my head up against the wall... last night i came home to toys all over the place, food still left on the table from lunch, dishes were not cleaned out, and in general the place was a mess. on top of that we had plans right when i got out of work, that was to go to the store and get what we needed for thanksgiving and what we needed till thanksgiving, the kids had allowence money to spend and i wanted to pick up a couple of gifts. so i came home after work my intensions was to come in and pee (im preggo so i pee every 10 min) and walk out with the kids getting in the car, i got home at 6 and the kids bed time is 9 we didnt have a lot of time, instead i came home to that mess and i got upset. on top of that i came in and he finally started getting things ready for the kids to go.i started crying, i was sooo upset at him, he doesnt get it, i asked him what he did all day and his response was, i took care of the kids and played either computer or wii the rest of the day. i was gone sence 7 a.m. we left to do our things at walmart and i noticed that ds's teeth were not brushed so i brought it up to him (he said he forgot to do them)that got me even more upset, so he took dd's hat off, she had a huge rats nest in the back of her head...so i looked at him and said let me guess you didnt comb her hair either...and he just looked at me, and said no i didnt think it needed to be done we were having a lazy day. i cant continue to type this nonsence anymore, i thought i got over it and i thought i would be ok but im just making myself more upset and im breaking out in tears. i just dont understand how he can be a dad and not know how to do these things. ok have a lazy day stay in pj's all day thats fine, but the rules still apply, when the kids are done playing with the toys the are to put them away unless they get blocks out and cars out because they have intenstions of playing with both but when they are done with them, they put them away before they get another thing out....grrr... this has been the rule for forever. the kids are 4 and 3 how does he not know to have them brush there teeth, or comb there hair even on a lazy day......ugggggggg im about ready for him to leave and not come back

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Ashle...
Nov. 23, 2010 at 9:15 PM

My DF plays xbox all day normally, and naps  then points out how lazy I am. However he is on a 3 week stretch of dishes ( because I did them for three weeks while his thumb "healed" from an incident with a table saw/ he played xboxs atleast 15 hours a day or more...he is not working and I'm pregnant, he hasnt worked in 2 years that we've been together.)

I totally hear where you are coming from.

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Mrs.S11
Nov. 23, 2010 at 11:03 PM

DH does work, but he has a cake job, he sits all day at a computer and answers phones (its a call center) but i work as well, so i feel it shouldnt be all up to me everything should be 50/50 but he doesnt get that. ya know he called me last week at work...to ask me a question...that question was..... is hot dogs and mac n cheese ok for lunch....

seriously... i told him... you are kidding right and i hung up on him

came home to find because i didnt answer his question, he didn feed the kids and i got home at 830. so at 830 i made grilled cheese and tomatoe soup and when they were done sent them to bed, but because he was being himself and only thinking about himself the kids didnt get to bed untill almost 10...i was sooo agravated at him.. i didnt talk to him for a couple of days because i was done fighting and the only way we were not going to fight is if i kept my mouth shut and i also slept on the pull out bed in the living room. i still dont think we have ever talked about it but he knows i WAS NOT happy.

 

like i said i am at the end of my rope, im ready to throw in the towel...kinda considering of drawing up divorce papers and handing them to him. ........

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