Melissa...'s Journal

Grief of Losing My Husband

Today we would have been together six years. It seems like it should have been longer. We've been friends for thirteen. Your death has left a huge hole in my heart. You brought so much to my world that without you here it feels like a lot of the goodness is gone from my life. You made me a better person just by being with me. Today I want to celebrate your life and talk about the great man that you were.

Some people are just naturally good. I'm not one of those people. I really have to try and focus on doing the right thing. You never had to try. It was always in your heart to do good, and you always enjoyed helping people. Numerous times we'd be out and about and people would come up to you and start talking. I remember the time we were at a home show and some lady came up to you practically in tears. She was thanking you for helping her with her car when she was stranded by the side of the road with her children. We talked to her for a few minutes and when she left I asked you when you had helped her. You said you didn't even remember her. Helping people was like second nature to you, and you helped so many of them that they all just kind of blended together I guess.

Everyone loved you because you had a way with people. You were the type of man that when you walked into a room, you set everyone at ease. You always knew how to make people comfortable, and how to make them feel important. You always took the time to listen, and you put others above yourself.  I remember one of the last times we had a picnic with my side of the family. My grandmas had been fighting like crazy, and there was a very tense mood by the time we got there. You sat down right between them and got them talking and giggling like little girls within minutes.

You were a big guy due to your disease, and you always got a lot of funny looks and rude remarks. This always drove me insane, and I always wanted to kick anyone's butt when they said things within earshot thinking I didn't hear, but you never let this get you down. You were confident enough in yourself, that you realized that getting angry over things like that wouldn't change anything and it wasn't worth your time. I wish I had half of the confidence that you had.

You were always the one everyone came to for advice because you always made good desicions. You were always level headed, and you never let anger or hurt feeling control your life. I'm more of the hot headed one, but you always knew how to talk me down. I really miss your voice of reason in my life, and I know the rest of the family also misses being able to come to you when they have a problem and need someone to talk to. It feels funny having the biggest, hardest problem ever (your death) and not being able to talk to you about it. I know that if you were here, you'd know just the right things to say.

One of the best qualities about you, and the reason I fell in love with you, is you were always so funny. You always had a joke, and you always made people laugh. I loved that about you. You would do anything for a laugh. I remember the time we went to a Buffet party, and we came up with that great idea that you were going to wear my dress from the Bahamas. You got a few strange looks, and you felt pretty silly since there weren't as many people that you knew at the party as you thought there was going to be, but you still got a good laugh out of it. I really, really miss your laughter.

I wish I could do justice explaining the man that you were. I've touched on a few points, but I know I don't even come close to showing how kind, compassionate, thoughtful, funny, and loving you were. I just want people to know how much you loved your family, and how much we loved you. It makes me really sad that no one else in this life will ever meet Timothy W. Hammonds Jr. I don't want anyone who did know you to ever forget you. I know I never will. 


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Nov. 24, 2010 at 10:07 AM

I just wanted to give you a hug.   You did a beautiful job explaining how wonderful a person he is!  I say IS because he is obviously still living on through you!  You were a true friend to him when others took the easy road and just assumed they knew someone from looking on the outside!  I am sure he was proud to have you as a friend! 




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Nov. 24, 2010 at 2:59 PM

I love this post! And, I know Tim would (does) too! It's so difficult losing the people we love. I think it's great that you've shared some of Tim's life with us...that you've made this post to honor him and your life with him. He really sounds like a great guy! I'm sorry he isn't here with you to celebrate your Anniversary...but, I'm sure he'd want me to say "Happy Anniversary to you (and Tim)!"

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Nov. 24, 2010 at 4:45 PM

hugsMany huggles your way

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Nov. 24, 2010 at 5:08 PM

I usually don't comment, but I've been reading your Posts.....I'm just speechless, I don't know what to say, and I know my words of condolences just don't cut it....I hope these journals are helping you in some small way because their helping me...........

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Nov. 24, 2010 at 5:22 PM I am so glad you had Tim for the time you did. My heart breaks for you. Hugs

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Nov. 24, 2010 at 8:29 PM

thank you for sharing tim with us.hugs

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Nov. 25, 2010 at 3:09 AM

I'm sorry =( Tim was and still is a great man. He is just away right now in heaven. He may be gone but you will never forget him. Thank you for letting us be a part of your Anniversay that would of been. *hugs hun*

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Nov. 25, 2010 at 3:47 AM

In one of your earlier posts you said Tim was always your's and your kids 'superman' and that is just how you have portrayed him here - a super man!  A wonderful human being with so many fine qualities, someone who was caring, had a great presence and brought love and laughter where ever he went.  Someone, who despite his disease, had such confidence, knowing what was really important in life, that beauty comes from within and that what is inside someone's heart is what really counts.  What a fine example he was of this and it's a pity that there are not more 'Tim's' in this world, it would be a better place for it.  I'm so sorry he is not here to celebrate your 6th anniversary and that he was taken so soon but I hope that you will still feel his love surround you and that you will feel blessed having had such a great man in your life.  HUGS xox

He left us quietly,
His thoughts unknown,
But left us a memory,
We are proud to own;
So treasure him Lord,
In Your garden of rest,
For when on earth,
He was one of the best.


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Nov. 25, 2010 at 6:40 AM

The post is really touchy.   It will not be easy to lose such a nice husband.  But God is always with U & Tim.  Therefore, please be strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

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Nov. 25, 2010 at 10:32 AM

Wishing you peace.  Hugs

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