livn4hevn's Journal

thoughts of a harried mom

I hate that it takes so much WORK to be considered socially acceptable. I know that makes me sound crazy, but seriously. Online etuquette has been reduced to "This is just MY don't have to agree!!" and all these fluffed up ways of keeping ourselves from getting berated and screamed at by some anonymous person on the other end of the computer screen who would probably NEVER have the balls to say those things to you in person. 

I keep telling people that certain things they do are okay with me, when they're not. I keep lying to myself and saying "hey it's your life, it's your choice" and all these cliche LIES that are supposed to make me feel better... but you know what? I DON'T agree with you. I think you're wrong. I think you need MENTAL HELP sometimes because your opinions piss me off. 

For instance (and bring on the firestorm. I don't CARE how you feel about this.). Suddenly, it's "cool" to be gay. Knowing a gay person, being gay, dabbling in homosexual activity (i.e. I kissed a girl once, I made out with a girl, etc) is like, cool. And if you say "hey I don't agree with that" well, then you're just a blind, biggotted homophobe. 

Well I'm NOT a homophobe. I'm not SCARED to be around dudes holding hands. However, that still doesn't mean it doesn't gross me out. I think homosexuality is disgusting. And according to the WORLD, I'm entitled to my opinion- so long as it's the SAME as their opinion. Well, it's not. And while I don't hate the PEOPLE who are homosexual, I think girls on girls and guys on guys is just sick. Do you know that these are the very things history has shown us in the past? The ruling nation (Rome) got so high and mighty they thought they were beyond moral compass. Men started screwing BOYS, and other Men, and basically putting their penis in anything and EVERYTHING they felt they wanted too. They screwed up. And they fell. In My opinion the US is on it's way down that same path. 

So ya, my aunt is a lesbian, my sister in law is a lesbian, and I work in Macy's in the Home Decor department with about a dozen dudes who are gay. Do I hate them? No. I love my Aunt. She's my favorite person in the family besides my own husband and children! Do I hate my sister in law? Yes, but that's for entirely separate reasons that have NOTHING to do with her sexuality (in fact, I've never even seen her with a partner). Do I hate my coworkers? No. Gil is awesome. He really knows his product and he's super friendly. Everyone loves him. Their personalitys are great- their sexualities are gross. 

So I'm sorry if it offends you that I think homosexuality is pointless, disgusting and wrong. I'm sorry if you hate me, or you want me removed from Cafemom entirely. But I'm tired of pretending that it's okay to be gay. Or saying "hey if that's your choice, then more power to you!" or w/e cliche "I don't wanna fight about this" kinda stuff I spit out to almost everyone I know in every walk of life. It's stupid. I have the right to my opinion. And I have the right to my convictions and moral value. I'm tired of trying not to step on toes. I'm tired of walking on egg shells in case I offend someone. Screw it. 

I could go off on HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of little peices of informaton, statistics, and various psychological studies that show how I came to my conclusion. But none of that matters. There's no point in PROVING that homosexuality is disgusting and wrong, because ppl who oppose me aren't going to change their minds. I'm not here to argue WHY I feel that way. It's not the point. The point is that this, among other topics bothers me. And I hate it that because I don't feel the way YOU do, that I'm not allowed to share my thoughts, give my opinion, or contradict the seemingly majority opinion. 

Here's another topic that annoys me: Abortion. It's sick. Don't try to justify your decision to me. It was wrong. You know it, I know it, and I don't need your sob story about rape, incest, molestation or otherwise to make me say... ok well in YOUR case it's okay....I don't even think it's okay to abort if YOUR life is in danger because of your pregnancy. We're MOMS. It's our JOB to die for our children. If I have the honor of doing that early on, then I'm just glad I was able to give life to my child. And yes, I firmly believe that. I suppose if I was in that situation it might scare me, or maybe I wouldn't be so quick to make those decisions, but I make my choices BEFORE the event comes up. That way when I get to a point where I have to make the tough call, I've already made it. 

I'm not going to tell you WHY I feel that way. I'm not going to get into JUSTIFYING my opinion. Do I hate you for doing it? No. But you most certainly need to seek counseling to move past your decision. And you need to make sure you don't ever do it again. GOD decides when we should be blessed with child. Not us. And if you didn't keep your legs closed or use protection, that's your consequences. I'm sick of the "special case scenario" argument. Did you know that there are only 111 women each year that actually GET pregnant from rape, incest or molestation? 111. That's not enough to have THOUSANDS of abortion clinics all over this country that sell abortion like it's the hot new item for Christmas. Of those 111 98% chose to KEEP Their child. So stop defending them. They don't even WANT your help. That leaves about, what 6, maybe less, women that actually USE their "get out of jail free card" and kill their baby. 

It's a selfish, ridiculous concept. Hate me for it. Go on. PLEASE. Because when someone is convicted that they are wrong, they fight tooth and nail for their opinion. I don't CARE why you did it, or what justifications you have. It's wrong. Even if it's justified. If I wanted to eat McDonalds every meal for 5 years, I could tell you ALL ABOUT how cheap it is, how economically stumulating it is, how they sell salads so it's "not that bad" and how I offset my choices by exercising. Those are ridiculous excuses. Those are INSANE. And if you were to tell me I was wrong, ya. I'd get pissed. It was my choice and it doesn't effect YOU right?!?! 

Do you GET it? You can show me facts, you can tell me how it's not so painful on the woman, or how the planned parenthood ppl give you all kinds of facts and information about adoption and whatnot, so you know your options before you decide. You can tell me that you offset the decision by making it WITH your baby daddy, or by all the excuses in the WORLD. You can tell me about how your choice doesn't effect me, but you would STILL BE WRONG. Tell your mind all you want about how it doesn't matter and it doesn't effect anyone but you. Go ahead. I'm studying to be a clinical psychologist. I'll go ahead and put you on my calendar as my FIRST appointment for the day after I become liscensed. Becuase your mind will break down and you'll regret it. You can convince your MIND but you cannot convince your SOUL. And your soul ALWAYS wins. 

Am I judging you? ya, I guess I am. I'm saying that no circumstance justifies your choice. And I truly believe that. Do I hate you? No. I hate your actions. Just like I hate old lady drivers who slow me down, and I hate ppl that aren't talking but their mouth is hanging open (mouth breathers). But I don't hate their personalities. I hate their choices. We all make bad choices and I'm absolutely willing to forgive you for making bad choices. I don't hold it over your head. I don't label you as the most awful person in the world because you did what you thought was best, and it ended up being wrong. But don't LIE to me, or anyone else, and say that it wasn't a mistake or that you couldn't have made a better choice. And don't hate ME because I'm willing to point that out to you. 

So bring it on- hate me, cafemom. Tell me how niave and cynical and MEAN I am for feeling this way. Call me every name you can, and dispise my very person because we disagree. Go on... I'm waiting for it...

Add A Comment


Nov. 24, 2010 at 3:42 PM

you rockNicely put.....

Message Friend Invite

Nov. 24, 2010 at 5:41 PM

hmm,Im really shocked that you havent gotten hate comments. Good for you for standing on your own 2 feet and speak what you feel. I dont care either way what ppl are.My opinion is I dont care if your gay,straight blk or white etc.... But,dont except me to treat you diff cuz of what you are.Im treating everyone the same.Theres blk rights,gay rights womens rights etc...How bout just having "human"rights and leave it at that.ugh.

Message Friend Invite

Nov. 26, 2010 at 9:48 PM

Hope, I can toast to that :) I think I probably find gay PDA just as disgusting as high school teeniebopper PDA. I probably Hate seeing dudes holding hands as much as they think it's gross that my husband holds hands with a chick. So. WHAT. They think heterosexuality is gross, I think homosexuality is gross. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I'm hateful.

I'm always checking for the hate comments. None so far. I guess having a separate opinon is OCCASIONALLY acceptable. :D

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in