I am so utterly overwhelmed today.  Yesterday we learned that in another week we will have absolutely no income at all. We have 3 small children.  Questioning Why.  After 2 years of unemployment almost, a 14% unemployment rate in our small rural community, things seem so hopeless.  Why does this have to happen to us now? I know there are so many other things in life that could be worse, I could have a child who is sick and dying, I try to remember the Oprah that I saw where the family lost all 3 of their children in one instant.  Now that is overwhelming, so I know on the scale of overwhelming life events while this is up there it isn't the worse thing I can go through in life.  But I am so fearful. I know fear isn't from God, but I am human it is only natural to go to that place of fear.  Fearful of not being able to put a roof over my kids heads, fearful of not being able to even provide the basic neccessities of life. Fearful of not having.  I am not a materialistic person at all. I don't need fancy clothing, or jewerly or expensive things. But I do want the ablity to provide for my family.   God why are we in this place? Especially at Christmas time.  Why now? What are you trying to teach me in this time?  Help me control my emotions and to not go to that dark place of depression.  I have had 2 major outbursts in the past 15 hours since we learned of this situation, I hate the way that makes me feel when I explode like that. Help me.  God Please Provide for my family. For my kids. I can go without but please don't make my kids go without.  They didn't ask for this. They don't deserve this. They believe. They believe in you, they believe in Christmas, they believe they will be protected and have their needs met. God please rescue us.  Give us our Christmas Miracle. Show us how to get past this, to make it work, to make the ends meet.  Calm my spirit and help me know you are in control even when all around me seems so out of control.  Today is a day of Thanksgiving.  I choose this day to be Thankful, even when I am so overwhelmed.  I will Praise you in this Storm.  I will trust you when the wind and the waves hit yet again. I will lay it all at your feet. I will, I must, otherwise I don't know where I will end up, I don't know.  My mind goes to such horrible places, guard my thoughts Lord.  Help me endure this trial so that when we have perservered and come through on the other side I can stand and say that My God rescued us from hopelessness.  You are my Jehovah Jireh, the Lord God who Provides.  I take you at your word Lord.  Show me. I love you Lord my God. Thank You for Loving me even in my humanness.

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Nov. 25, 2010 at 3:07 PM

 Sending prayers your way....hugs

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