About a week or so ago, i posted about my family situation, or more specifically our financial situation. But at the end i mentioned i had something else i needed to vent about, so here goes:

Inlaws and nephew:

Question: (would really like some people to answer this, so i know whether im being ridiculous or not, so im in need of opinions) say you are a grandparent, your adult son and his wife are struggling just to make it, let alone being able to buy their kids school clothes; which would you do:

A) offer to simply buy the clothes because you can afford to do it, and dont worry about being paid back because these are your grandkids and you're happy to do it

B) Expect to be paid back as soon as possible

Well, in my case, it was B-it was a good thing our dog had pups and we sold them because thats the only way we could pay them back-the money that could have gone on bills, or to buy our kids stuff for christmas had to go right to the in laws. Am i being spiteful, in thinking they could have offered to just outright buy them, being nice? oh, and apparently we still owe them a little bit, so the christmas money me and hubby each get from them is being cut down to cover it, from what ive been told. perhaps im being ridiculous, perhaps im being obnoxious and selfish-would like some opinions on this. i was so upset about the whole thing, i told my husband not to borrow anymore money from them-dad in law apparently nagged about when my hubby was paying back an addtional thirty dollars he had borrowed also.and another thing-we were not outright invited to stay with them, come may, when we have to be out of our house-according to dad in law, they will help us within their means-not, yes you can stay here for awhile so you're not homeless. ..perhaps because there are too many of us, who knows. i feel as if this were his other daughter and her one son, this would be different, because for some reason, they seem to be the favorites of the family and its pretty blatantly obvious sometimes-my boys feel as if their little cousin is the only grandkid their grandparents care about, and he is allowed to get away with alot. He got expelled from elementary school a few wks ago, and turns out later in the day was still taken by my mother in law, to a skate park. can anyone please tell me how much sense that makes? Regardless of his mom paying for alot of stuff, my boys see their grandma taking him places, doing things with him, and they are never asked to go, well, unless their cousin asks-and even then, they really dont want to go because they know what will happen-the kid constantly disrespects their grandma, and when they try to defend her to him, telling him to stop, THEY get told to shut up or stop, or stay out of it. The kid apparently just got diagnosed with ADD, and is on ritalin. If it works and hes not as obnoxious ,great.but that doesnt change the fact he is obviously the favorite grandkid, despite my kids doing alot for the grandparents-mowing their lawn, babysitting their dog, etc..not saying they NEVER do anything for my kids without expecting anything in return (mom in law made taco salad last minute for my oldest son for his cast party this past week), but it would be nice for one of them to offer to take one, or all of my kids somewhere, WITHOUT this kid-if by some chance they are asked to go somewhere, its usually because the other kid is going. I believe my kids need to feel like they're special, like they mean as much to their grandparents as their cousin does. in all honesty, all of this is a long story short-there has been craziness with this kid for the past three or four years-but i wont go into all that because you all will be reading for another hour! One thing i have to make mention of in regards to this certain sis in law, is she is prob one of the most selfish people i know, as one year, my hubby asked to borrow 500 dollars to get our kids stuff for christmas, and she claimed she didnt have it-yet, found out later she gave someone else a few grand, and this is a person who brags about having 10,000 in her savings..but she couldnt, or wouldnt, loan her brother money to get her nephews and niece things for christmas? he would have pd it back, he was still getting unemployment benefits at the time-but apparently she would sooner give a friend, or even a stranger money before she gave her bro money. and my hubby does ALOT for her, when he shouldnt-he has gone from our house one christmas to hers because she had some issue with her house-i think its b.s. that he does stuff for her, does stuff for his folks, yet no one cuts HIM any slack-i feel like he's used, because hes the only brother, only male that they feel can do this stuff-he has major back probs, he shouldnt have to do anything, but being the nice guy he is, he does it. it makes me crazy...could go on and on, but wont, cuz ill b here forever complaining. just need some  opinions and advice

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Comments:

MSuga...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 10:27 AM

My husband and I are grandparents to six children, four families. We buy clothes, shoes, coats, hats, pay for school education, pay for two of the four girs car insurances, etc.  on and on....we do not ever expect to be paid back. The only thing we ask is for any/all of them not to tell us how to spend our money.  What is given to them, accept but don't expect.

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