So, we're now heading into our ninth moth of staying at my mother's house. This has been nine months of INSANITY! Lol. No it's true, she's turned into a total basket case since I left for the Army 6 years ago. My husband was medically retired from the Army on May 15th. It's not that I don't appreciate her allowing us to stay with her, but she keeps it over our head. I'm on unemployment, and my husband pulls in a whopping $800 a month, and she wants more and more money from us. Additionally, she's decided she has changed her standards, and is demanding a superbly clean home, when she has always been a slob, and never does cleaning on her own. It's really the double standards that are getting to us. I think she likes to add friction because she thinks it'll damage my relationship with my husband, and that I'll eventually leave him. My husband has PTSD (post traumatic stress disordy), TBI (traumatic brain injury), and several other moderate body injuries. but you'll get no understanding from her! Living with someone else is never fun, and then when you throw low income and two very tiny kids into the mix, it makes things even worse. I can remember a time when my mother and I were friends. But now I'd just as soon not see her if I can help it, let alone speak to her.

December 21st, our oldest daughter turns 3. She is also the decided favorite of my mother. My mother would drive up to see her a lot when we were still in another state, and when we visited, she would devote so much time to her. She tried hard to convince us to move here to this state so she could spend more time with the oldest, but once we moved here, she stopped hangin' around. She had a boyfriend at the time (I dare not get into THAT while typing this because it would never end) and all of her attention was focused on him.  When my father died just after Christmas of 1999, I realized my mother is the type of woman who only listens to a man who is banging her, and also the sun rises and sets in his pants. She went on her first date with another man just a few months after my dad died. Don't get me wrong, my dad was an asshole. He was emotionally and physically abusive to myself and older sister, and emotionally abusive to her. I just feel like, maybe, out of some kind of decency, she could have waited what...a YEAR before moving on? Nine months after his death, she moved in with another man. And I was left to deal with the emotional turmoil that follows every 18 year old approaching graduation, along with having lost a father, then watching my mother move on in a flash. I didn't know what to think then, and as a 29 year old, I still don't.

Anyways, since we've been here, she barely spends any time with this wonderful granddaughter of hers, and has no patience for her toddler ways. I won't even get into how little she pays attention to the baby - with the added excuse of  "Oh, she doesn't even notice it." I'm sorry, but that isn't the point! I've told her about it on numerous occasions, and she casually improves for  awhile. But here for Christmas, she bought the toddler 3 gifts, two of them huge, and our 7 month old one thing. I know it's not about how much someone gets, but I prefer evenness. I feel like this type of neglect is learned, because her mother, my grandmother, used to blow me off a lot as a child, and make sure I knew I was second rate compared to my sister. I have refused to allow that to happen to my girls. It hurt me a lot to know that I didn't count, and wasn't as special as my sister. I have warned my mother repeatedly about doing this to my kids, and she keeps swearing she won't do it, but here she is! I am glad that the baby is too small right now to notice, but what happens when she's older?

This Christmas should be interesting, we'll decorate December 1st, celebrate the tots birthday, do Christmas, and then repeat the process in California where hubby's family is. Sometimes I wish I could go back and take up one of their offers, not that I'm not mistaken in believing those wouldn't bring in a different set of problems and drama, but it might be tolerable compared to the tension, constant criticism, and double standards we're living in now!

Happy Holidays! Haha.

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