I wrote this one day while thinking, "what if Santa really were real? what if HE could find the guy of my dreams that i've always hoped, wished and prayed for? what kinda guy would i ask him for, to find for me?" And so began this letter to Santa...:

Dearest Santa,

I believed in you faithfully as a child.

As an adult, I've come to believe you live on in the hearts of those who are kind and have the spirit of Christmas the whole year through.

Yet, as a grown woman who has been left without love and soon to be divorced twice over now, I've also come to feel I've been a bit jipped out of what I've asked for since I was a little girl.

Now, I realize over the years I've asked for true love, and you sent me that, but that true love left me...or, at least, the person from who that true love came from left me. And I realize that I've also asked for children and a family of my very own, and I now have 2 wonderful (although extremely mischievious at time) children, after being told that they would probably never come to be. And I did have a family of my very own, of sorts, even though it certainly wasn't in the traditional sense and the father/the head of the household was rarely there and when he was, he rarely socialized with us, usually hiding away in the guest room to avoid us, losing himself in his computer/video games to try to forget his problems and who he was/is.

But, Santa, the one thing I've always wanted is a guy (of course, now that i'm older, a man) to love me, for everything i am, for my good, my bad, for my beauty and my flaws. someone who will comfort me when i need comforting, laugh with me, have even those amazing quiet moments when you're not saying anything but know EXACTLY what the other person is thinking and wants.

i know that the more descriptive details are more than a simple "i want a man to love me that i can love back" but, honestly, Santa, is that really so much to ask?

Cause i really don't think it is.

and i know it's so close to Christmas and asking this of you this year just wouldn't be right since it's such short notice but, since i'm giving you more than a year's notice, do you think maybe you could find me "a man to love me that i can love back" for next Christmas?

if it's not too much to ask, that is.

if not, here are a few things i'm looking for that might help you out, you know, to narrow down the search:

1. He can't be more than 5 years older than me and he can't be more than 2 years younger than me. Santa, you know i've gone the "older man" route and look where it's gotten me: divorced! again! with 2 kids this time! so, please, no exceptionally older men

2. He can't be dumb as a doorknob. you know me, Santa, and you know how smart i am (sometimes too smart for my own good, i know, i know...). If he's smart in literature the way i am, that would be even better :)

3. He can't think Twilight's completely stupid. Same goes for Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, all Hallmark Entertainment Fantasy type movies and Legend of the Seeker. (lol i realize this is a silly thing to ask for but, Santa, if you still know me as well as you used to then you know i love that kinda stuff, especially the vampire stuff)

4. He has the love the city i live in since it is my home and has become a part of me, a part of my heritage as well.

5. If he were from the UK that'd make things all that much better. Specifically, if he were Scottish, with an amazing Scottish accent, that'd just be...how'd my grandma always used to put it..."the bee's knees" lol my 2nd choice would be Irish, my 3rd choice is Welsh and my 4th choice (as far as UK guys go) is English. If, for some reason, UK guys that are living here in America are on short supply then a gorgeous Native guy will do (as you very well know, dating a Native guy will make my parents exceptionally happy...you know, marrying within my own race and whatnot)

6. i realize this may be shallow but he has to be somewhat good looking. looks aren't everything but they matter a little bit. he also has to have an amazing personality as well, respectful of women, has to love kids (even if they aren't his and can be a handful at times), has to have never hit a person, especially a woman or child ever in his life and never been verbally abusive to anyone in his entire lifetime either.

7. he has to be okay with someone having some extra baggage and not enough extra time like she used to. basically, he has to have alot of patience and understanding.

8. it would be really nice if he were raised jewish but is alot like me the way i was raised: respectful of the religion he was raised in but no longer a practicing jew (as i am no longer a practicing christian) (my kids come from jewish and christian roots so we celebrate chanukkah and christmas/passover and easter while also observing other non-christian roots and such...so having someone who's similar in my beliefs and such would be nice). above all, he has to still believe there's a God as i do and as i am raising my children to believe as well.

9. ok, these are small, minor details but he can't have hair on his chest but if hairless chest guys are in short supply, please minimal hair on the chest, if you don't mind, Santa. allow, he has to have a huge....talent lol if you get my drift. or, at least, an above average...talent lol average talents have never lived up to the expectations with me lol sorry for being so forward, Santa but i figured this might help narrow the field as well.

10. above all, he has to be faithful, loyal, loving and kind. he has to love me (although not right away, he has to fall in love with me eventually), and after he gets to know them, my kids as well. my preferences are many but 2 of the biggest ones: he cannot smoke, cigarettes or otherwise and this one kinda goes hand in hand with that, he cannot do any drugs or any kind. if he drinks, it's ok but preferably a social drinker since i've been married to an alcoholic and know how that goes. he has to see my beauty even through my flaws and i, him.

Most importantly, Santa, he HAS to be straight. please no bi-sexual guy. I like my guys straight.

Thank you, Santa. I hope that maybe this guy does exist and that maybe you can find him for me because, Santa, that's all I want for Christmas next year. I'd love to find my dream guy and have him to share every moment of life with someday.

Happy Christmas, Santa!

Love Always,

Amanda

(p.s. I never stopped believing in you ;)

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