I woke up today feeling fed up! I am going to make a serious change whether or not it hurts me. I need to get control of this. I know I have said this plenty of times, but today I really feel like I need to get a hold of this whole lifestyle of mine.

I think it's pretty sickening that I just look like a fat blob and as soon as I hit the couch around 8pm I instantly fall into this deep sleep. I don't give DD or DH their time at all. I don't have sex with my husband every night. In fact, I dread bedtime because I know what he's gonna want and I make every excuse possible to not give in. Why? Because I am so damn tired. This is not a normal tired. I'm fuckin 22yrs old....I shouldn't be feeling this tired. Women in the past have done a whole lot more and here I am tired. Yes, I know maybe once a week I should feel the heavy load, but not every damn day. I mean I don't even exercise each day so I can't feel this way. And I bet if I did exercise I would feel extra energy because I have felt that way before. It's crazy but I get even more energy when I exercise. Who knows if I am in a depression. Maybe I am, but I need to snap out of it and get rid of all these sickening bad habits. If I were DH, I would be totally disgusting by his so-called wife.

My birthday is in April and I have set a goal. 60lbs. 60 damn lbs. That would make me weigh roughly 135lbs. Ha. I can't even picture it. But among that, I need to work on other things as well. I would like to at least do my hair everyday. Possibly put on a little make-up. Hey maybe even attempt to wear flattering clothes. Ughh it sounds a little overwhelming because these, to me, will be very drastic changes. Yes. At 22yrs old I have let myself completely go. Sickening. This is supposed to be the prime age that I will never get to experience again. I don't want to look back in 20yrs and think, "Oh man, I really should've tooken advantage of what I could've done when I was young." I want to be sexy. I want to feel sexy. I want to have the confidence back. I want to be able to be happy again. I want DH and I to be happy again.

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Nov. 30, 2010 at 11:27 AM

You can do it, girl.  I've lost 65 pounds so far (it took about 6 months), and I'm about halfway to my goal.  I started eating 5 to 6 small, healthy meals a day instead of 3 big ones.  That alone will trick your metabolism, and the weight will come off.  I have to watch my fat intake ( I personally keep it below 24 grams a day) and my carbs (I don't eliminate them, but I try to swap out whole grains for refined stuff where I can) and try to stay away from soda ( I just plain feel better with lots of water going into me.).

It is working so far, and I feel worlds better than I did 65 pounds ago.  You can do it, hon! 

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