Today is day four of bleeding red while pregnant.  It's been a rocky week without any solid answers.  Last friday i spent five hours in the ER regarding the start of what seems to be never ending bleeding.  I was told i have a 50/50 chance of having a miscarriage or a healthy baby.  This is the 3rd time I am pregnant  and hopefully not resulting in a miscarriage like the last three.  My husband(or soon to be) has a daughter who is five and she has been a saint through all of this.  I never knew i could count on a five year old to try and comfort me in the ways she does.  I want to backtrack quite a few years ago when Amber was two years old.  Amber's father got custody of his daughter due to her behavioral state, and neglect that appeared all over her body.  Her mother is a heroin addict,  and started having more children with another man. (who has a very long record of physical abuse)  She never shows up to the court dates SHE files for, and shows no sign of any change in her life .  The hubby and I have been raising her since she was little, and told her that "mommy is sick."  We recently moved and enjoyed being a family in our new home.  When i brought up having a baby, it was never turned down, and from then on we were not careful.  This obviously led to me becoming pregnant!!  All the happiness was accompanied by tragedy shortly after.  I am scared to lose this child because i finally feel like i can put my life on the line for something i want and need so badly.  There is a certain love that you have with your child, and i can't bare to be at loss. So far there are no clots, no tissue passing and hardly any cramping.  I pray to our Lord Savior Jesus Christ for the strength and will to make it through this time knowing it is in God's hands.  I have a Dr appnt tomorrow and will know if my HCG levels have doubled. If not i will know it's not a healthy baby. Hope to get the good news!! I will keep you all posted. <3

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