Ok. I would usually not do this but here i go.

today like any other day. i feel alone. and kinda sad. I love my kids. time is too fast. but yet.... too slow. i have a thyroid condition and it sucks it makes me fat. and i wanna pull my hair out. it makes me nervous and stressed and also depressed. I dont look like the girl i used to be. I got the condition after my daughter was born. I havnt lost the weight i have only gained. I dont honestly know why. YESTERDAY: i ate 1 1/2 muffins, 1 or 2 cups of coffee, a bowl of ramen noodles, 2 saltine crackers, tea, and a bowl of chili with crackers -cheese- and  a few frittos. all day thats it. it is really cold here so i cant take the kids out for a walk really... i dont want them to get sick. It makes me tired. I went from a size 5-7 127 lbs. 5'4" beautiful girl to a size 18 180lb. 5'6" woman with two kids and i dont know it all hapened in two years. after my son Sean i lost it all i looked HOT again i was a sz. 5 happy and the fat preg. me was gone. size 12 jeans were my fat jeans and i cried when i realized i wasnt a single number anymore. this will sound mean but i HATE being fat it make me wanna throw up everytime i look in a mirror. I wanna be the person i once knew. i was fun i wasnt bitchy upity and snobby but a total bitch not so much. I think my husband misses the old me. and i miss her too. I wanna be beautiful so bad. I hate being fat. and ugh...   : ' (   all i wanna do is cry.. and i do. and noone understands. I want plastic surgery on my tummy, thighs, hips, butt, arms, neck area, boobs, back, and make my stomach smaller, i would change almost everything.  i love my eyes but i wish they were blue i always have. 

well i gotta go make something to eat. My baby bunny (Misty) just woke up and she is hungry. and my baby bear (Sean) will be up soon. I will be back maybe not with the same problem. but again to talk about how i feel at that moment in time.

Add A Comment

Comments:

Restl...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 5:51 PM

Hey, Hun I think we've all been their at some point in our life, after having kids it can be hard to feel sexy, and get the weight off, I struggled with my weight each time after having my 3 kids, and I got all of the weight off after having my first two, but then I decided to go and get the lap band, and I have lost a whole bunch of weight, i am now pregnant w/twins I am gaining very slowly, and know that I wont ever have to worry about being over weight again...I completly, understand how you feel,  My mom had a tyroid condition which made it hard to loose weight but I believe with medication it will help... If you need to talk PM me... krista

Message Friend Invite

mykid...
Nov. 30, 2010 at 5:56 PM

I have the same story.  I was thin all up until I was in my late 20's.  I have an auto immune thyroid disorder.  At my most I was 190.  That was 2 months ago.  I am now 169, thanks to my endocrinologist who gave me phentamine.  It has helped curb my hunger and give me some energy back to exercise.  I still have a ways to go.  I would like to lose another 30 lbs.  It is hard to be big when you used to be small.  I know exactly how you feel.  Are you on thyroid meds?  My endo also gave me a T3 replacement, which really helped my moods.  I also really had to look at my eating habits.  I would convince myself that I did not eat alot but when I look back on it, I did.  I ate sugar and carbs a lot.  I have cut most of that out and I really pay attention to portion size.  If I really want something I do not deny myself but only have a small portion.  I have also started doing weights and walking.  If you would like to message me we can encourage each other to lose the weight.  It is an uphill battle when you have at thyroid problem, but it is possible.  I have also been reading up on it and there are certain foods to avoid when you have hypothyroidism.  Looking at what you listed that you ate it does not seem like a lot but some of those things are high in calories.  There are some really good things to eat instead.  You have to burn 3500 calories to lose one pound.  I always keep that in mind.  When I know I am going to eat something that is not so good for me I do some exercise so I have room for it in my calorie intake.  I have a super slow metabolism.  At a gym near my house I had my resting metabolism done and the guy said he had never seen a slower one than mine.  I know there are food out there that help metabolism as well.  I am still new to this thing, eating well.  If you want me to share things that I learn along the way, let me know.  Good luck and know you are not alone.  

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in