The kids are out for school until January 3rd and I don't think I'm going to make it.... The first day of being home all day was Tuesday and its only Thursday and I'm going crazy, my house is a wreck, nobody wants to listen and I feel so crappy cause I keep yelling. My daughters are 10 and 7 and they have decided to not do a damn thing, they want to bitch when I say clean your room and heaven forbid I ask one of them to help me put the dishes away. Getting them to get they're dirty clothes to the laundry is an all day thing and they decided together that they're little brother is no longer allowed in their bedrooms and have barred him from trying to do anything with them. He of course doesn't understand this since hes 4 and special needs, when they run from him he thinks its a game and when they yell at him he thinks its funny. And naturally when they yell at him, I yell at them and so on and so forth. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired of my own kids, whats wrong with me? I love them, but geez I really can't stand them when they're like this. What happened to the sweet little girls that wanted me too braid hair or paint toenails, they have been taken over by the pre-teen years and they are Evil!!! My son is a different story, hes considered special needs and hes wide open all the time... Ifeel like I need medication so I can keep up with him, hes 10 times more "hyper" than my niece with ADHD. I'm so stressed out, I don't go many places with all 3 because I can't handle it, always into things or the questions, can I get this?? why can't I get that?? Its not fun anymore. I never thought the day would come when I felt like a complete and udder failure but that day is today. Right now writing this I have banned them all from the den, (I'll clean up their destruction later) and I'm sitting on my couch feeling like shit and hoping my husband will be home soon since they always listen to him. I have completely failed them as a mom and as a parent in general, I give and I give but now they seem to want soo much and I just don't think I have it in me...
Please do not bash me, this is a journal and I know its open to the public but damn, please don't tell me that I'm a pathic loser, I can't take that today
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