It was already a sucky Christmas since my husband left for work at 6 am and won't be back home until almost midnight. This day just hasn't been the same without him. Here I am, 14 weeks pregnant, alone on Christmas, exhausted and knowing I'm not energized enough to please my daughter in the play department and its put a real damper on my mood. Its been no help that I got a nice migraine right around noon... but the biggest drain on my day....
Spent half my day fuming over the bio-mom. Most of the time I am really indifferent about her crap, her drama, and her wishy-washyness. I do get irritated when after 4 weeks of her calling to whine about her life she finally thinks to ask to talk to her daughter (novel idea) and then I have to try and coax the poor kid on the phone when she really doesn't want to talk to her and then I have to coach her through the torturous 30 second conversation before DD decides she just is done and blurts out something like "can I go back to my game or movie now" even if shes in the car and doing nothing, she makes excuses to be done talking. Its so sad. But part of her recent drama is a contract marriage and a new military guy who "wanted to give a good step-daddy gift" for christmas. Ok, fine, we conceded that if she wanted to do a nice gift, DD really wanted a blue nintendo DS (they only run about 130). We would take care fo the rest. Well she hears this and HAS to get it for her, to make her little princess happy....She of course procrastinates and finally sends us what she says is a "refurbished" one because she couldn't afford it. I wanted to scream "then you should have stuck with your CVS christmas cracker jack crap and let us know so we could get it for her." Ugh, but i held back... and this morning comes and it gets opened. ITs clearly nothing more than a hand me down, with nail polish smears all over it to prove it, including one right across the screen. I'm just so livid, it only makes matters worse that my 9 year old brother got to open his spanking shiny new DS right across from her. Bio-mom originally wanted to fly DD out for Christmas but we convinced her that it wouldn't be practical financially, she argued she already had money saved up... so what happened to the money that would have paid her plane fare? You couldn't control yourself long enough to buy one decent gift for the child you haven't seen in nearly a year? I understand she has two other children at home but I also know some of the things she got them and it wasn't so cheap, I can understand that too but seriously, she does't pay child support, nothing. Was one gift too much to ask for? Mostly I'm just pissed because I know how disappointed DD was, now I have to go buy her a real DS next pay day, and bio-mom has no clue how much groound she is losing with DD every day. It saddens me to have to watch DD have to realize how worthless her mom really is at such a young age. She shouldn't have to be that aware, or jaded. Its just bullshit and I can't even go off on the woman and give her a wake up call, its just not in me to be confrontational. I'll vent my feelings to my eharts content but I'm over trying to rid bio-mom of her delusions that she is the perfect mother, that DD loves and idolizes her and that she just can't wait to hear from her a token minute every month. Its not worth the stress that would come of it and DD just doesn't care enough to make it worth the effort to patch any of it up. I just wish just once she didn't let DD down, just once that she was even close to coming to mediocre on the scale of attempting to live up to DD's limited expectations.
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