I have to say having children is my greatest joy. I love being a mom so much. One of the hardest things I am having to come to terms with is never having anymore children. Just the thought of that makes me sad. Never being pregnant again and never having another baby around. I know I have to think about my other children and their needs too. Three is plenty I know. Closing that chapter of my life is hard. I will never get how women go get fixed without making sure it is what they really want. How can you make the decision before you even have your baby? I know plenty of women in my cafemom group that have schedule surgeries to get their tubes tied. I cannot and will not make that decision yet. I just can't. Randy is the one getting fixed anyhow because it is easier for him and it is easily reversed if I change my mind. I do not have a date in mind however. I have no plans of him getting fixed anytime soon. Mainly because I do not know if I am truly done. I am not sure when I will know that. I guess maybe after I experience three kids. Maybe college will convince me. I just do not know. I just know that I am on the fence and do not know when I will know. I am waiting for the feeling of completion. Will that feeling ever come? Or do you just have to make a decision and stick with it? See I do not know. I wonder if anyone else feels this way? Scared to make such a permanent decision.