Day 3 without my Paxil is doing strange things to my brain.   I took a nap this afternoon and suddenly....

I was on a girl's trip with my sister Alicia, my friend Sharlene and my co-worker Lashanda.  An old equaintance, Rob, saw us and thought that we were following him.  He had commited some murders while in the Army Rangers and thought that I had evidence to have him court martialed.  He began to track us.

He had these little machines that looked like Roombas that flew around and followed us and - if they got close enough-  fired little pink plastic pellets at us!  Those damned things stung!  We ladies were running and found our way into an amusement park.  We took the time to stop at a portrait machine that took our photo and turned it into a sketch.  We looked FAB!  While exiting the machine, Rob grabbed Alicia,dragged her to an abandoned home and interogated her.  He chopped off her middle finger with a Samuri sword so she would take him seriously and have the added punishment of not being able to flip people off anymore. 

Sharlene stopped at a game machine that was spitting out quarters and collected them to call for help.  Don't ask me why we didn't just use our cell phones or stop a stranger  No, we stood there filling our pockets with quarters for a payphone.  Shar dialed 911 for help and Kevin Spacey, the actor, showed up in a Chrysler 300 to whisk us to safety.  He told us that he isn't just an actor, but also an FBI operative.  He knew all about Rob's crimes and was going to protect us.  I don't know why he was dressed in drag, and I was a little scared to ask.

We end up at a dinner, waiting for a FBI team to sweep in and rescue us.  Kevin Spacey ordered pie.  Rob found us and burst in - threatening to kill us all.  I told him that I was the one he wanted and said that I would let him shoot me if he let my friends go.  Rob agreed.  I hugged my sister and gave her her chopped off finger that I found in the trash and had put in my back pocket.  I gave Sharlene all my quarters and the portrait we had taken.  I gave Lashanda my Coach purse and matching wallet because I knew how much she admired them.  I marched out of the diner, got on me knees and was ready for the bullet to my head.  The gun jammed, a teenage girl ran up and kicked Rob, and I ran free.  Minutes later, while I was sitting/hiding in the crowd in the bleachers of a little league baseball game, the FBI repelled down from helicopters, rescued me, and subdued Rob. 

I was reunited with my girlfriends at my parents house and my dad was glad that I was alive but pissed off that all the FBI people were trampling all over his lawn and running up his phone bill.  Alicia, Sharlene, and Lashanda were glad to be alive and thrilled that I had been rescued.   After we all hugged, Lashanda asked "Does this mean I can't keep the Coach purse?"

And then I woke up.

 

 

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Comments:

turtl...
Mar. 8, 2011 at 11:09 PM

You should send this to Hollywood, sounds like it would make a good movie! 

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