I just don't know how to do it...

[kelbo1989]

I'm 21 years old with a 3 year old son of my own and a baby on the way. My husband has two children ages 3 and 3, their mother moved off to montanna and left them with us for 3 months now and for the past year me and my husband have had the hardest time with aiden (3) we catch him doing very mean things to the other children, to our Pets, he's sneaky, he lies like no other and I'm so scared for him. I don't know what to do anymore. I love this boy so much but I don't know how to handle it. We've tried Time out, grounding, I'm not a spanker but his dad has tried as a last resort and nothing gets through to him.. I'm on my last string here. Im thinking he need therapy or something but the stress it's causing on my already high risk pregnancy is unbelievable.. He has a very stable home, me and my husband are not the average 21 yr old couple. We have devoted our lifes to our Children.. I just wanna know how to help this little boy! :( And please don't think this is a case of me being an evil step mother, these boys call me mom, I love them like no other I'm just so tired and running on nothing now... He also shows some off habits like he constantly plays with his hands or mouth , twirls his shirt alot and licks his lips constantly...

[MrsSanchez]

Mar. 22, 2011 at 12:01 PM

I definitely do not think you are being the evil step mom, and even asking for help on here shows you love him.  I think that there is definitely some child therapy needed.  Could he be acting out because his mother left him and can I ask why she left them? I think he is struggling with something and isn't old enough to understand his emotions so he is acting out.  Please talk to someone soon, I would hate to see this end up bad.  God Bless you and your family!  Good luck with your pregnancy.

[kelbo1989]

Mar. 22, 2011 at 12:20 PM Well she lost her job here bc of her new bf so him and her moved to montana to "better" their lifes.. We found out she was smoking marijuana in her house with the kids in their room supposedly, and she would leave them with her roommate while she left for days.. She's 20 and tries to act like any other 20 year old without children! She had them 3 days a week before she left 2 months ago but had to stay at her mothers with them. She dropped them off with us and said shed be back the end of April pretty much.. She wants to take them to Montana but with her history as a "mother" that's not happening. The baby doesn't even know who she is. But hes been like this before that. I know her neglect has alot to do with it.. It's just so stressful and tiring :(

(Original Poster)

[kelbo1989]

Mar. 22, 2011 at 12:21 PM And sry the ages of the kids are 3 and 2 not 3 and 3 lol aiden 3 kaleb 2 aiden is the one were having problems with

(Original Poster)

[kkbird]

Mar. 22, 2011 at 1:55 PM

sounds like acting out. although you are a great "mom", the fact is to the child that his "party" mom has left him. And even though he doesnt understand that its best that way with her actions, he still hurts emotionally.  I think maybe some cuddle down time one on one (if possible) or even if you are cookingin the kitchen..... call him in and ask him to help. occupy hismind alittle more.  the hands and his habits... sounds like his nerves, maybe takehim to some one to see like a dr could tell you what thenext steps could be.... he may have too much energy.... good luck. ( and I WOULDNT let them go back to her .... she'd have to take me to court!!!!

[kelbo1989]

Mar. 22, 2011 at 2:29 PM Ty :) she signed over temp custody to us until she returns to get them but my husband has to sign a paper for them to leave the state of California..

(Original Poster)

[Marciaplus5]

Mar. 22, 2011 at 3:27 PM

My daughter is 3 almost 4 now she kinda went through this stage also. It will be fine they grow out of it especially if you are correcting them as they do it. That is very important toddlers and preschools test you until no end so keep the time outs up and correcting him and he will learn you are serious and this is not acceptable behavior. No worries it will all work out and get easier as time goes by :)